Stuffed Animal Tales

New Captist Angel and Other Matters

2011-09-28T05:29:00.000-07:00

We welcome Mall Diva's cat, Sophy, into the pantheon of Captist Angels.
This statement ratified by the Cat Claw Clan and High Priestess Julia

In response to the preceding post about NSU's Young Artist Program director, Mr. Z., Karen wrote, "Mr. Z is pretty dreamy."
No offense to Mr. Z., but these photos can be deceiving, Karen. Note the soft focus. It was probably taken a few years ago, too. But go ahead and dream, if it makes you happy. I won't tell W. W., to whom he is attached.

Way cuter than Mr. Z.

Return of Weirsdo

2011-09-23T15:28:00.000-07:00

Diamonelle doesn't need paparazzi.

I'm sorry to have been gone so long. The usual rush of lessons and orchestra rehearsals is upon us, and on top of that, my dream job has apparently fallen into my lap.
Last summer, when I was working at a nearby music camp, Mr. Z. was also working there. Mr. Z. had been given the task of transforming the preparatory program at NSU from students teaching lessons for peanuts to a full pre-professional program for promising young music students. The problem was that despite its fairly large size, Nearby City, GA, had few good students.
Why? Perhaps because its main industry, the military, is not known for pursuing classical music, or because the second most lucrative industry is medical, and doctors don't spend enough time with their families to get their kids to practice (just a guess, and, of course, an over-generalization). Or maybe the days of the wife bringing in a little income on the side by teaching music are history, since most households require two full incomes to get by. Certainly the young people I know who are freelancing in the area are understandably more interested in quick income from gigs than in the slow and uncertain money from teaching.
Whatever the case, no students were forthcoming. After watching and working with the six students I brought to the camp, interviewing me while seeming to chat over the course of the week, and observing the performance of the groups I was coaching on the camp recital, Mr. Z. hired me to work in his Young Artist Program, hoping I would be able to bring in some decent participants.
Fortunately, I was able to get seven kids and their parents to sign up, including J. and a visiting student who has been studying with a member of the faculty at Shanghai Conservatory. They and three cellos, including Mr. Z.'s 14-year-old daughter, meet every Saturday at NSU for an hour of chamber music, an hour of orchestra, and an hour of masterclass. The kids are getting to play for the world-renowned Mr. S. and W. W., among others.
Every week is very exciting for me. Being the only one on the faculty without an established career with a major ensemble, I was quite willing to work with the least advanced chamber group, but this is fun, since these are the students who will learn the most and come the farthest. Then I get to participate in the chamber orchestra, since they have no violas except staff, and it is interesting to watch how Mr. Z. works with the kids, which is a specialty of his. Finally, I get to watch the guest artists who do the master classes teach the kids whom I've prepared and the odd cellist.
But the most amazing part is that after Dr. Minnie Strator harassed me out of Very Red State for not raising my grades and lowering my standards, after years of most non-Asian parents in this town going to the teachers who made them and their lazy kids feel comfortable, instead of to me--after all that, now suddenly every week I am told what a great teacher I am by major musicians who need my expertise to keep this program afloat.
Oh yeah, and I get paid, too!
It is a bit of pressure, as two students need to be prepared to play in the masterclass nearly every week, and I need the parents to help with transportation. But the prestige, respect, and confidence more than compensate. The parents and kids have been very cooperative--imagine, they are all ready to go at 7 A. M. every Saturday! These families really understand and appreciate what an amazing opportunity this is. I'm pretty sure word will spread and others will begin to notice also.

Weirsdos Come Home

2011-08-21T13:24:00.000-07:00

In response to Mall Diva's Christmas card in the last post, Karen writes, "Your daughter Sylvia is an awesome photographer, as well as one hellava graphic artist! Surely she could sell her Christmas card design to any number of snowless-state stationary stores on the numerous exits of Interstate-10."
Thanks a lot, Karen. We are gratified to see that Mayuko Fujino, a professional artist of our cyber-acquaintance, favorited it on Flickr. But when we took a bunch of these cards down to the local used book/coffee shop hot spot, the owner said Mall Diva needed to do fancy handwriting to make them saleable. Whatever. Mayuko Fujino's opinion means way more. I think Mall Diva undervalues her artistic talents. For her, art is just a hobby, but I sometimes think I shouldn't have distracted her from it with all the music stuff.
Anyway, here is a sketch Mall Diva made of her friends and her at Bowdoin International Music Festival, whence she returned the day after Toyplayer and I returned from points west. Enjoy.

Weirsdos Westward II: Happy Holidays

2011-08-14T05:52:00.000-07:00

A Mall Diva Christmas card.

After Tulsa, Toyplayer and I headed up to Kansas City, where we played cards, Scrabble, charades, and hang man and watched THE INCREDIBLES, CARS, and WALL-E. Grandma Weirsdoer had never seen THE INCREDIBLES and CARS before, and she liked them a lot. We also took her some of Mall Diva's inimitable stationery, because we had noticed she had run out.
The visit was nicer than usual because Grandma Weirsdoer's roommate had stolen some meds and had to be hospitalized, so she was gone, and the roommate before her had left a DVD-player and TV, so we didn't have to be out in the big room with everybody as much. Also, they have moved the smokers farther away from the building, and I think they are taking fewer of them, so second-hand smoke is not as much of a problem as it used to be.
Our home away from home was the 54th Street Grill and Bar, where Toyplayer consumed many a Devil's Den Burger, and I enjoyed Boulevard beer and great salads.

Reader Response III: Bach to School

2011-08-13T07:45:00.000-07:00

Note the original instruments (no chin rests on the violins and violas, no endpin on the cello, funny looking bows) and the Baroque pitch--lower than A=440, which is standard now.

In response to the preceding post, RBUD noted the similarity between Vivaldi and Bach: "I am just noticing how much Vivaldi sounds like Bach. Has anyone else ever noticed this? Is it just the instruments? Autumn sounds to me like it would be at home among the Brandenburg Concertos."
Bach's dates, 1685-1750, roughly correspond to the Baroque period, RBUD. Further, whereas many great composers are innovators, Bach was more of a culmination of all that came before. Thus you may well hear similarities between Bach and Vivaldi, Telemann, Corelli, and many other Baroque composers in Bach's music. (Handel, who was a contemporary of Bach, seems to me more distinctive.)
I am no musicologist, but I would say that on the whole Bach's use of harmony and counterpoint is more sophisticated than that of his predecessors. A particular weakness of Vivaldi and Telemann seems to me to be their use of sequences, that is the same pattern begun on consecutive notes, which can be very repetitious and predictable. In Vivaldi's defense, however, he often wrote for children, since he worked at a school for wealthy, illegitimate girls. Sequences are pedagogically useful because while each requires a distinctive set of finger movements, the ear can relate new sequences to the pattern, which allows students to check whether they are in tune or not. Sequences are also useful in teaching phrasing, as they are easily identifiable and should usually be played with crescendos or decrescendos.
weirsdo

Reader Response II: Back to Music School

2011-08-12T12:21:00.000-07:00

In a late response to RBUD's lament regarding his knees in the autumn of life, I cited the poem that accompanies the first movement of Vivaldi's Autumn. I was reminded of this not only because the word that RBUD was redefining was "autumn," but because the scales in the first movement represent grape harvesters who have been sampling the finished product too heavily and keep falling down.
Karen then helpfully linked to two versions of Autumn on YouTube, the one above, with authentic Baroque instruments and a recorder soloist, and this one (just the first movement of the concerto), with modern instruments and Itzhak Perlman on the violin solo.

She wanted to know my thoughts on these.
Neither is my favorite, Karen. If I had to choose, I guess I would take the recorder version. The tempo is sprightly, and I like the feel the original instruments give to the sound; but Vivaldi wrote it for violin, and in my view a recorder just doesn't have the sophistication of tone that characterizes the violin in any age and makes people love it (not that there's nothing to love in recorders, and of course I may be biased).
I normally like and admire Itzhak Perlman, and I do not know whether or not he harbors the animosity toward period instruments and performance practices that have rendered his friend, Pinchas Zuckerman a scandal in the classical music realm and, I hear, prevented good students from winning in contemporary competitions. But this recording, with its logy tempo and rich vibrato, seems to me to substitute romantic anachronism for the purity and vitality that one can hear in the recorder version.
I had to look around a bit, but here is Gidon Kremer doing what I consider to be a good version on modern instruments, but with a sensitivity to Baroque performance practices.
Let me know what you think.

Reader Response I

2011-08-11T13:58:00.000-07:00

People seemed interested in the Panamanian gold figures. I didn't think the link did them justice, so I picked out some more. I couldn't find my favorite frogs, though.

--weirsdo

C. J. D.'s Gyro Query Answered

2011-08-10T04:45:00.000-07:00

C. J. D. wanted to know who these gyros Toyplayer had fallen in love with were. A friend of mine once said, "Gyro meat is to lamb as particle board is to wood." I believe this video confirms his view:

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I think it is called "gyro" because of the way they turn the cylinder to make the meat, but that's just a guess. Anyway, as you can see from the photo, it's gyro meat, tomatoes, and tzatziki sauce (made from yogurt), with lettuce and onions optional (and eschewed by Toyplayer). All rolled in a pita wrap. What's it called in the UK, by the way?
One other note: the more conservative of my Greek boyfriends in grad school told me that it is important not to confuse the vowels in "tzatziki," as "tzitzaki" means "goat" in Greek, and is used to refer to a woman who can't keep house well. Not that they're sexist or anything.

Weirsdos Westward I

2011-08-09T03:41:00.000-07:00

Toyplayer and I recently returned from our annual pilgrimage to the Weirsdo grandparents. We went on a lot of outings with the Grandparents Weirsdo, including visits to the Phillips (as in Phillips Petroleum) mansion in Tulsa (now the Philbrook Museum) and the Phillips ranch outside Tulsa (now Woolaroc, combination museum and wild animal park), as well as to the Gilcrease Museum and the Tulsa Historical Society.
This picture of Custer's Last Stand (not necessarily historically accurate) is from Woolaroc, but we saw a LOT of Western art at the Gilcrease Museum as well.

I think my favorite Western art is landscapes like this one by Thomas Moran, who studied with Turner. The Gilcrease also had a fantastic exhibit of Panamanian gold (be sure to look at more than just the first couple of images in the slideshow: the artistry is amazing, and the style unique).
At the Philbrook, we enjoyed the building itself (like an Italian villa, with new wing tastefully added behind and beautiful gardens that were far too hot to walk in), the collection (including beautiful Renaissance paintings), and a special exhibit of Rauschenberg works. (Well, I enjoyed this last, and I think Toyplayer did too, more or less. I can't say as much for the grandparents.) Unexpected was a disturbing exhibit of photos of slave castles, structures I had never heard of before.
At the Historical Society we were interested to see pictures of the Brady shoe store, general store, and hotel. Tate Brady is my mother's step-father's father.
And at Woolaroc we enjoyed driving through the grounds and looking at the animals,

then going into the museum to take in a magnificent hodge-podge of Western art and artifacts.
As always, we ate well, thanks to the generous hospitality of the Grandparents Weirsdo and eateries of Tulsa. Toyplayer and I went to one of our favorite restaurants alone, however. The Submariner Sandwich Shop is a little hole-in-the-wall in a strip mall, but it is family run, with good Middle Eastern and American food, and Toyplayer is in love with their gyros. It is just a tad too informal and exotic for the Grandparents Weirsdo, who stay home and have sandwiches and jello.

Special On at Steak Through the Heart!

2011-08-08T03:29:00.000-07:00

In response to the preceding post, the Cheesemeister wrote, "Of course my knee-jerk reaction is that all Nazis should be made into lunch specials at Steak Through the Heart. It would be a fitting end to them." Sadly, we have no Nazis around to give their response to this, thus providing "balanced coverage." Hamster Brittney of the Netherworld did want to let everyone know, however, that Steak Through the Heart has a Sour Kraut Lunch Special on RIGHT NOW. Hurry in and discover a whole new way to appreciate Nazis.

Weirsdo Explores Further

2011-08-07T07:51:00.000-07:00

In response to the previous post regarding National History Day projects sympathetic to Nazis and the concept of "balanced coverage" as explicated by Masterymistery, the Cheesemeister wrote, "Both of you have valid arguments and this is a great illustration of balanced discussion and debate. It is something we see far too little of these days."
Indeed, Cheesemeister, I'm not sure it's even a debate. I agree that the idiots responsible for rewarding these projects were probably swayed by the concept of "balanced coverage," and I think M. M. and I may agree that allowing Nazis to have their say and investigating their point of view might be valuable, though I can't tell for sure. I also think we would agree that, as in the instances of balanced coverage M. M. adduces, a full understanding of the issue should not lead to the conclusion that such fringe views have an equal claim to validity!

Masterymistery Explored

2011-08-06T17:48:00.000-07:00

In response to the preceding post's concern over pro-Nazi exhibits at National History Day, Masterymistery writes,

Weirsdo, I think part of it is similar to the "balanced coverage" issue, in which all participants have equal standing irrespective of whether it's merited.
Using the example from your post, it's the same syndrome that would see Hitler and a holocaust survivor being given "equal opportunity" to express their respective views.
Or another example: an interview on the subject of childhood vaccination involving a professional medical practitioner and a misinformed parent who has read something on the Net to the effect that 1 in a trillion children develop adverse effects.
"Balanced coverage" is a worthy goal, in the appropriate context. But when it's at the behest (as it so often is these days) of an ignorant, uninformed, ethically challenged journalist in search of ratings, it can be highly un-productive.

Thanks for the thoughtful comment. I actually believe that it is right to give Nazis the opportunity to express their views (otherwise how will we know how horrible they are?), and I don't even think it is wrong to investigate whether or not Nazis were unfairly treated. I certainly think it understandable that naive and uninformed students might believe this was a subject worth pursuing. My problem is with the parents, teachers, and most of all judges responsible for supporting projects that concluded the Nazis were inhumanely treated, projects that won first, second, or possibly third prizes in their states and were consequently exhibited in a nationwide competition. My overall argument in the post was that judges too often seemed uninformed and overly swayed by factors other than historical accuracy and how well informed and balanced the students' presentations were.

Weirsdo On National History Day

2011-07-29T20:52:00.000-07:00

Someone--I think it was Karen--wanted to know about National History Day.
Overall, I think it is a great competition. Kids from 6th-8th grades (Junior division) and 9th-12th grades (Senior division) research topics on a yearly theme such as this past year's "Diplomacy and Debate: Successes, Failures, Consequences," or this coming year's "Revolution, Reaction, and Reform." They then present their work as a paper, exhibit, documentary, website, or performance, either individually or in a group. They must complete a process paper and an annotated bibliography regardless of what format they choose, and use of primary sources is encouraged.
Each state has its own organization, so I'm not sure how competition works on the level of individual schools. In Alabama, there is usually a regional competition, though ours was canceled due to the administrator's illness, and then a state competition (everyone from our region went straight to state). Two or three judges evaluate entries and ask competitors questions. The top two individual and group winners from each category go to nationals at the University of Maryland, with 3rd place winners being alternates. (There are also a few special prizes at Alabama's state competition, with small cash awards.) Projects may be revised between state and nationals.
At nationals, projects are grouped by numbers or by room (for performances), and the top two chosen from each group in each category become finalists. From the finalists, the top three are awarded gold, silver, and bronze medals (with cash awards), and some others are awarded special prizes (with cash awards) in individual areas sponsored by specific organizations.
I really appreciate this competition, and the kids I saw were enthusiastic about it. I also saw a lot of impressive projects. Most importantly to me personally, it was a great opportunity for Toyplayer to develop his talents and be rewarded for them.
Of course, nothing is perfect. I do not want to criticize most kids' efforts at all, so I am not going into all of my objections to individual judging. I certainly did not think that Toyplayer was cheated in any way; we went in not knowing what to expect and were gratified that he did as well as he did. However, I think it is important to note that we saw two exhibits that suggested the Nazis were treated inhumanely after World War II. One was from Arizona; I can't remember what state the other was from. I did not look at these that closely because I just wanted to get away from them--especially the one that compared the claims of a Holocaust survivor to those of an ex-S. S. member! It seems to me that judges, if not teachers, could be trained to give better guidance and not allow such projects to reach nationals. (There were, of course, many projects deploring the Holocaust.) There is also an inherent problem with having judges not see every entry: if a project is in a weak group it may reach finals even if it is not that strong; conversely, strong projects in a strong group may not make finals.
And of course I did not agree with all the judges' decisions. I think there is a tendency to reward show over substance, partly because judges may not always know that much about what they are evaluating. To use only Toyplayers' judges' comments, one judge wrote that she "learned a lot!"--which is nice, but not entirely reassuring; another praised Toyplayer's portrayal of "Andy Johnson," who only appeared in the title. I also thought it odd that a judge's comments queried the source of some of Toyplayer's lines, even though the source was clearly given in his bibliography. (Incidentally, the chief executive of the contest wrote in its brochure that her home state, Ohio, produced three presidents. It's five.)
So, great program, but I think that if contestants make finals and perform strongly they should be proud. Not to take away from anyone's project, but finals, special prizes, and medals are a bit of a crapshoot.

And the Music Began Again . . .

2011-07-25T05:32:00.000-07:00

It was Mall Diva's trio, playingThis browser does not show iframe content.

Check this out on ChirbitMall Diva, violin, Sean Yeh, piano, Aaron Fried, cello. Their coach was Emma Tahmizian.

Elizabeth Indisposed

2011-07-25T05:10:00.000-07:00

"Will you be MY Captist angel?" Anastasia continued. "Elizabeth was unable to come tonight to assist me. Will you receive with me, Annie?"

Annie Angel

2011-07-22T19:35:00.000-07:00

"What a lovely outfit, darling," said Anastasia, in her snuffly voice. "You look like a Captist angel in that tiara."

Sisterly

2011-07-21T07:18:00.000-07:00

Anastasia went to Annie's side and put a foreleg as far around her middle as she could reach.

Anastasia Indignant

2011-07-20T05:29:00.001-07:00

Either Saruman is staggered by Anastasia's behavior, or she accidentally elbowed him out of the way in her hurry to meet Annie.

Anastasia's furry shoulders were squared under her poofy sleeves, and her muzzle was set indignantly.

Anastasia Hurried to Meet Annie . . .

2011-07-19T06:46:00.000-07:00

to speak to her before anyone else could.

Anastasia Steps Up

2011-07-18T06:08:00.000-07:00

Then Anastasia came forward on dainty paws that hurried to meet Annie.

More Hushing

2011-07-16T04:00:00.000-07:00

There was an odd hush that caught at Annie's heart.

(Who Could It Be?--Shh, Karen)

2011-07-15T07:52:00.000-07:00

. . . came forward. . . .

Someone . . .

2011-07-14T04:42:00.000-07:00

Will anyone speak to Annie after she was caught embracing Pooh?

Isolation*

2011-07-04T04:33:00.000-07:00

Before Annie could advance to speak to anyone . . .

*Not the same as independence. Happy 4th to my fellow Americans.

Social Purgatory

2011-06-29T04:12:00.000-07:00

"Was everyone going to cut her?" Annie wondered.

Congratulations II

2011-06-26T04:16:00.001-07:00

And we congratulate Hard Solo for placing 4th in the Michael Hill International Competition.

Pause for Congratulations

2011-06-25T05:22:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to Toyplayer for becoming the first finalist in the National History Day contest ever from our Very Red State, and the top Junior Division entry in the state!
And congratulations to everyone at the national event. Most entries were polished and informative. We never tired of watching, listening, looking.

Pregnant Pause

2011-06-19T05:06:00.000-07:00

Suddenly, the music stopped.

Barbie Bear Baiting Anticipated

2011-06-18T06:18:00.000-07:00

"You have an eternity in which to explain, and only one night to be a bear in the NG4J pit," Hobbes Junior told her. "Go on, darling, and let me see the Barbies bait you."

Pleading

2011-06-10T03:46:00.001-07:00

"Hobbes Junior, do please let me go home and explain," Annie pleaded.

. . . And Nowhere to Go

2011-06-08T04:14:00.001-07:00

As though he read her mind, Hobbes Junior's claws closed on her arm in a grip that would leave a bald patch.

All Dressed Up . . .

2011-06-06T04:10:00.000-07:00

. . . All Ye Who Enter Here

2011-06-05T06:11:00.001-07:00

Annie thought, "Why did Hobbes Junior drag me here? What will they do to me? What will Anastasia do? Oh I can't face her. I will turn tail."

Captist Honor Flag

2011-06-03T11:41:00.001-07:00

The den was packed with guests. A blue Doo-Doo Girl quilt with ungainly bloodred stitches hung over them all like a Captist honor flag.*

*See here for the significance of Doo-Doo Girl quilts in postbellum Captist homes.

Party Time

2011-06-01T05:17:00.001-07:00

Party time, a photo by weirsdo on Flickr.

As Annie and Hobbes Junior got to Anastasia's den, the pleasant, exciting sounds of many Captists enjoying themselves floated out.

Abandon Hope . . .

2011-05-20T07:50:00.000-07:00

Perhaps no one would tell Hobbes Junior. It would take a brave animal to break such news to him. Please Christopher!
But she remembered Big Pooh. Big Pooh hated loose females. He would tell Hobbes Junior, feeling it his Captist duty.
Time passed, and finally Annie heard Hobbes Junior shambling up the steps. She tensed as he reached the upper hall, gathered all her strength for a meeting, but he ambled into his den.
He hadn't heard. Thank Christopher! She must gather herself together to go to him. She felt too distempered to go. But was there time?
She heard Hobbes Junior shifting around in his room, but she could not find the courage to call to him. Finally he knocked on her door, and she said, trying to control her voice: "Come in."
"Am I actually being invited into the sanctuary?" he questioned, opening the door. It was dark, and she could not see his face. He entered and closed the door. "Are you ready for the reception?"
"I'm so sorry, but I have a headache. You go, Hobbes Junior, and give Anastasia my regrets."
There was a long pause, and then he snarled, "What a white-livered, cowardly little bitch you are."
He knew! She lay shaking, unable to speak.
"Get up." His voice was pure animal growl.
"Oh Hobbes Junior, I can't. You see--"
"I can see. Get up."
"Hobbes Junior, did Big Pooh dare--"
"Big Pooh dared. A very brave bear, Big Pooh."
"You should have torn him limb from limb for telling such lies."
"I have a strange way of not attacking animals who tell the truth. You are going tonight even if everyone cuts you and Mrs. Pooh asks you to leave the den."
"They misunderstood. Elizabeth and Big Pooh. Elizabeth hates me so much, she'll tell lies about Pooh to make me appear in a bad light."
"You will go if I have to pick you up by the scruff of the neck and shake your ever so charming bottom every step of the way." There was a cold glitter in his eyes as he jerked her to her feet. He went into her closet and drew out her new FRANC dress. It was strapless and very tight. "Wear that. No modest, matronly dove grays and lilacs tonight. Your flag must be nailed to the mast, for obviously you'd run it down if it weren't."

Annie in Limbo

2011-05-10T04:00:00.000-07:00

Annie never remembered how she got out of the office. She went like a circus bear, instantly responding to Pooh's command. Behind her, Pooh and Big Pooh were circling each other, snuffling and growling in grim converse in the little room. She passed Elizabeth outside with her back to her. Shame and fear sped her homeward, and, in her mind, Big Pooh, with his leaky stuffing stigmata assumed the proportions of the avenging Cat Monster straight from the Captist Bible (REVELATIONS).
Penny was playing in Anastasia's back yard. Anastasia! Annie's hackles raised at the thought of her. Oh Elizabeth would glory in telling her, not caring if she blackened Pooh's name, not caring if she hurt Anastasia, if by doing so she could wound Annie!
She did not know why she should mind Anastasia knowing. She began to whimper at the thought of Anastasia's dejection when Elizabeth told her that she had caught Pooh and Annie in heat. Would Anastasia leave Pooh? What else could she do with any dignity? "What would Pooh and I do then?" she thought, frenziedly. "Oh, Pooh will die of shame and hate me for bringing this on him."
Suddenly she silenced her whimpers as a deadly fear went through her heart. What of Hobbes Junior? What would he do?

But First, Neglected Queries Department

2011-05-09T03:42:00.000-07:00

Eager though we are to return to "Gone with the Captists," posting our synopsis reminded us that we never answered RBUD's question from way back about the War Between the States of the Soul. We meant to, and then we forgot.
After we answered Karen's question about who Big Pooh was, RBUD asked, "Is War Between the States of The Soul a new appelation? Or do I just not remember it?"
RBUD, many ardent Captists have always used this term to refer to the Captist-UnCaptist War. Since we are moderate Captists, however, we did not have occasion to use it on the blog until Anastasia explained what a bear lady was, and our description of Big Pooh was the second time.

And since we are moderately good Captists, we feel we must put the minds of the Cats of Ulthar to rest. After various upsetting allusions to "catgut" were made in recent comments, they wrote, "We must say that we take umbrage at all these references to Cat Gut being thrown around. ME-YOW!"
Cats of U., catgut was always made from sheep intestines, and is now usually a synthetic substitute such as perlon, unless you are playing old music and going for a historically authentic sound. Real gut goes out of tune all the time and does not have as bright a sound as modern strings.

Return of the Captists

2011-05-08T04:27:00.001-07:00

Diamonelle likes all kinds of history.

"Gone with the Captists" begins in April, 2007 on the blog and continues off and on through the July, 2008 archives, again from the Sept., 2008-March, 2009 archives, and from the Aug.-Sept., '09 archives. Resuming toward the end of Oct., 2009, our chronicle runs through Nov. and the early part of Dec. with only brief interruption. We continued the saga from the end of Jan., 2010 through the beginning of Feb., and for most of March, and resumed again in Feb.-early March, 2011.
Owing to Mall Diva's being extremely busy, Toyplayer has agreed to finish the saga, using photos Mall Diva took. So posts should be more regular henceforth.

Frustrated in her love for Pooh, who married his cousin Anastasia, Annie (Anastasia's sister) married Percy, a flyer in the Captist Air Force, just before the war. During the war, in which Percy was killed, Annie helped deliver Anastasia's sickly baby, little O, in Petesville, and, with the help of the daring but intensely irritating Hobbes Junior, retreated during the Fall of Petesville to her mother's estate.
Annie's father, Hobbes, had been kidnapped by UnCaptists and was being held in Ork, and her mother Julia, a Litteral Captist fanatic, had gone a bit funny, or funnier, so Annie, Anastasia, and the few Captist servants who stuck with the family were left to keep the wolf from the door. Anastasia was sickly and busy with her sickly baby and any needy Captist who came around begging for a handout, so it was Annie who cared for the beehives and planted the estate's football field with crops so they could eat. Her only helper was Ginny, an orphan Anastasia took in, who proved a useful farmhand.
Pooh came home, but he was clumsy and not much help. He also rejected Annie's advances. On top of this, Julia's former steward, Red Baboon, came by with his jumped up Captist trash wife, Tawdry Cattery, and told Annie she'd have to come up with three hundred Stuffed Animal Planet dollars in taxes or Julia's estate would be his.
Receiving a letter telling of Percy's fall into a volcano in Ork, Annie journeyed to Petesville, where she offered to be Hobbes Junior's mistress in return for the 300 $APs needed to save the estate. Stuck in an UnCaptist prison after his questionable career as war privateer turned Captist officer, Hobbes Junior heard the humiliating request but refused on the grounds that any attempt to access his money would lead the UnCaptists to it. On the way home Annie met Percy's brother Frederick, who had an understanding with her cousin Elizabeth. Frederick had a store and some money, so Annie told him Elizabeth didn't love him and got him to marry her instead.
Annie ran the store ruthlessly, to the male chauvinist Frederick's surprise and dismay. One day, Hobbes Junior stopped by and after teasing her, revealed that he had lots of money and had come to make sure she was all right. She borrowed money from him to buy a honeyworks for herself (Frederick had no part in it). She then hired Pooh, who had been on the point of moving his family to Ork, to manage it.
Anastasia loved being back in Petesville and was grateful to Annie for all her "kindness" to her and Pooh. Pooh was a hopeless manager, but Annie really did everything anyway.
The corrupt UnCaptist government allowed or even encouraged all kinds of crimes against Captists, the worst of which were assaults on unprotected Captist ladies. The Captist males formed the Cat Claw Clan to defend themselves and the purity of Captist femalehood against these threats.* Annie made Frederick promise not to join, but she worried about him.
On the evening after Annie herself was attacked on her way past the rundown Pansitown and only saved by the timely intervention of Mrs. Arshmol/Ugluk, the Captist bear-menfolk mysteriously did not come home until late, and an UnCaptist patrol headed by Captain Tom the Lone Shark surrounded the house. At last Hobbes Junior, Pooh and Big Pooh returned, all, seemingly, very drunk. This ruse and Hobbes Jr.'s story that they had been visiting Belle Catley's house of ill repute caused Tom the Lone Shark and his troops to leave, but really Pooh was wounded and Frederick killed in their attack on Pansitown.
At first, Annie hardly noticed her widowhood, she was so concerned about Pooh. But when it was clear he would recover, she realized what a bad bear she had been and took to drinking alone in her room, fearing everlasting torments such as attending NG4J rehearsals for all eternity, until one day Hobbes Jr. kissed her into marrying him.
In the beginning she was very happy with him. He spent a lot of money on her and showed her a good time. But there were a few bees in the honeycomb. Annie was annoyed, for instance, when Hobbes Jr. burned her ENTIRE collection of Franc's latest line. And he was high-pawed in other respects as well. For instance, he tricked her into renaming Frederick's General Store the "Caveat Emptorium," and only Pooh's kindly telling her what it meant as the sign was being installed put a stop to this embarrassment.
Then there was the baby. Horrified when she discovered she was pregnant, Annie liked her little doll more than she had expected, but she was astonished and even a little bothered by the almost unbear-manly way Hobbes Jr. loved and indulged the child.
Soon Annie began to use her baby's playing with Little O as an excuse to see Pooh more often. After Anastasia made a remark about the little girl's hair color, she was christened "Penny."
Not only did Annie hate the name, she disapproved of Pooh's softness as manager of her honeyworks. Pooh interpreted her disapproval as evidence of Hobbes Jr.'s coarsening influence.
Moved by his concern and a desire to have no more cubs, Annie kicked Hobbes Jr. out of her den. This was not as satisfying as she had hoped, since Hobbes Jr. seemed eager to roam, and his exit left her feeling forlorn. She could not even think of a delicate way to impress Pooh with the news.
On Pooh's birthday, Annie went to the honeyworks to keep him from coming home early for his surprise party, which he knew all about. Just when Pooh was consoling Annie for their postbellum hardships with an ambiguous kiss, Elizabeth and Big Pooh walked in. . . .

*This is, of course, the Captist side of the story. For our real view, click here.

Enigmatic Post

2011-05-06T03:53:00.000-07:00

And a final follow-up, for anyone who was wondering after the end of the post-before-yesterday's, or who just felt like hearing something beautiful,

Queries & Carps

2011-05-05T01:47:00.000-07:00

Karen asks, regaeding yesterday's post, "Is Mall Diva as cool a performer as Kyung Wha Chung is in this Bruch 3rd movement video example?"
I think there is some semantic slippage here, K. If you mean, "Does Mall Diva get up and focus on conveying the music as single-mindedly as Kyung Wha Chung here?" I would say "Yes." On the other hand, if you mean, "Does Mall Diva play with all the fire of Kyung Wha Chung?" I would say, "No, her performance is not as hot, or cool, as you prefer."
Yet on the third hand, Mall Diva herself, who wishes to remain anonymous, informs us that "Mr. S.* hates that recording of the Bruch," and I did notice some interpretative liberties, especially rhythmic inaccuracy, of which I don't approve either. So I give you this for comparison.
No one knows whether Mall Diva will ever be as hot or cool as these famous performers, but at least I feel reasonably confident that with her skill set she will never go hungry.

*I was surprised to find this clip on YouTube. I'm the concertmaster here, and you can see Mall Diva's former teacher in the corner of the frame, conducting.

Mrs. Weirsdo

Weirsdo Congratulates

2011-05-04T03:14:00.000-07:00

We congratulate Mall Diva on winning the Auburn Concerto Competition with this piece:and hope she will play it just as well with the Auburn Orchestra next season.
This competition is open to Very Red State University students and residents of the county of any age. Mrs. Weirsdo entered several students, not with any real hope of their beating Mall Diva, but for the experience, and besides, you never know. She is proud of their efforts, but one actually was a co-winner! (There were four winners in all: two college students and two violinists.)
This girl also won the Alabama Music Teachers Association auditions last year. For that competition she played this,, the second movement of Ernst Bloch's BAAL SHEM SUITE (Three Pictures of Hassidic Life: "Vidui" means "contrition"; "Nigun" means "improvisation"). It was sort of funny when she and her mom--very Korean--the pianist--very Aryan German--and I--very WASPy--were rehearsing this very Jewish music, but among us we did get her to master the idiom, and she actually loved it so much she insisted on working up Nigun for this competition, even though we all agreed it was a stretch for her.
Going into the competition, I was surprised at how much she had accomplished on this piece, but since we were working on very basic things, like the right notes, right up to the last minute, I was not sure she would even present it well, much less win. Besides the difficulty, this girl is not as cool a performer as Mall Diva, and is only 13.
But according to the conductor (also a judge), "Mall Diva we expected to perform well, but J. played the best I've ever heard her play--it was amazingly good." Though a fan of Jewish and 20th-century music (I am no dummy when picking repertoire for students), this conductor is not given to compliments or enamored of children. When I first broached the idea of putting Mall Diva (aged 8) into the Very Red State University/Community Orchestra, he said, "I don't know. This isn't a YOUTH orchestra." Shortly thereafter he held a second-violin sectional on Elgar's THE ENIGMA VARIATIONS, and Mall Diva was the only one who could play the notes. Now my students are half of the violin sections, but most are intimidated by this conductor, and J. is no exception. When she read his e-mail about her "amazingly good" playing, her face lit up in a priceless way.
It was a good day. Congratulations, J. and Mall Diva.

Easter Vehicle for Emrald

2011-04-23T21:14:00.001-07:00

ham biscuit, a photo on Flickr.

Karen wants to know if Pansi still thinks Emrald is going to hell in a "ham biskit."

Karen: This is the first year in memory that no minister who hired me to play has then told me that I was going to Hell for not accepting Jesus as my personal savior. Clearly the churches around here are getting lax and need a reminder from Pansi as much as you do.
weirsdo

Karren!!!!
Sadly--Of COARSE she is!!!! Like Mrs. Weirsdo say's, onely she never lern's from it, if you don't except JESUS you are going to HELL!!!!! Karma who Emrald beleave's in may be a very nice girl and all that but SHE IS NOT JESUS and will not save you!!!! And you can never be a angle in Heavan if you be leave in Reincarnashon!!!!
As for the ezact way of getting there thats just a expreshon and theres alot of diffrant way's, aspeshaly now a daze like sausage biskit's and egg mcmuffin's. But any hoo if you are not TOTALY shur about you're Christinane sole I wood stay away from Stake Thru the Hart just in case!!!!
Kiss kiss and Hapy Eatser!!!
PANSI!!!

Captist Revelations

2011-04-22T18:41:00.001-07:00

We have recently been privy to the following communication:

Together with this post, it gives us here at the Weirsdo mansion paws, even though we are Captists.
weirsdo

DIamonelle Goes All the Way with LBJ

2011-04-08T04:13:00.000-07:00

Diamonelle has her say, a photo by weirsdo on Flickr.

So, CJ, moving on, from AJ to LBJ,
Number 36, promoted in a similar way:
When Lee Harvey Oswald shot up JFK,
Another Johnson became Prez of the U. S. A.

He won reelection, launched a War on Poverty,
Signed the Civil Rights bill for a Great Society.
Yeah, he broke a filibuster back in 1964,
And pushed the white South out from the schoolhouse door.

So the Blue States became Red States, and they hatch their plots.
The Tea Party's not racist? Please! Connect the dots:
They're attacking Medicare, Medicaid, EPA,
NPR and education, if they get their way--
These are all Johnson achievements, from back in the day.

But like every tragic hero, Johnson too must have his fall--
Playing dominoes in Asia was his fatal flaw.
Mcnamara played the numbers, yeah he rolled the dice,
And about a million people found they couldn't live twice.

Johnson gave up tryin' to spin it, he wasn't no Bush.
He knew if he kept running he'd be gettin' the push.
His October Surprise was he was out of the race,
And you all know we got Nixon when Johnson lost face.

So the record is mixed, spin it any way,
I got lots a razzle dazzle, but I ain't no DJ.
But there is just one thing that I gotta say,
When it comes to pickin' Johnsons, I'll take LBJ.

Diamonelle Checks Out Presidents Johnson

2011-04-07T04:30:00.001-07:00

Diamonelle explains., a photo by weirsdo on Flickr.

Yo homies! 'Tsup? I heard my favorite blog was all about the johnsons, and I hurried home from my intergalactic Christinane-Captist tour with Snoop Kitty-Kat to check it out!
Homeboy C. J. was writing:

I remember Johnson. I remember, vaguely, JFK's death and then seeing this very ordinary man appear on the BBC. He didn't seem to have that magic that JFK had and seemed very un-rock an roll to me as ten year old. I wonder how someone like him would fare in todays razzle dazzle world full of spin?

Being that it is just a hop skip and a jump from spinning records to spinning presidential records, I consulted Mrs. Weirsdo and ToyPlayah, and decided to take this one on.

Sorry, CJD, but you seem confused--
See, Uncle Sam has got two Johnsons--no need to be amused.
First there was A. J., number seventeen--
He just might be a red neck, if you know what I mean.

When Lincoln was picked off, A. J. went from veep to VIP
Bad news for the country, but he thought it was a trip.
Started acting all phat with his planter friends,
Dissed all the freedmen, didn't wanna make amends.

When the Congress tried to stop him he went on a tear,
But his Swing Around the Circle just proved he was a square.
He was hand in glove with the Ku Klux Klan;
Thad Stevens got his posse, "Let's imPEACH the man!"

Thad the Rad impeached, but he couldn't convict.
They had him dead to rights; they just couldn't make it stick.
See Ross was a slicker, he was slicker than slick,
Johnson bought his vote (this is makin' me sick).

I ain't gotta tell you what you already know,
How the South won Reconstruction, and they served up Jim Crow.
Nobody could tell all the trouble and pains,
But we shot down that Goliath with some help from Lyndon Baines.

To be continued . . .

RBUD's Queries Answered II

2011-04-03T04:35:00.001-07:00

Edwin M. Stanton, a photo on Flickr.

RBUD asks, "What law had President Johnson broken?"

He violated the Tenure of Office Act, RBUD. The act stipulated that he could not fire a cabinet official without the consent of the Senate. Also the act, written by Stevens, explicitly stated that violations of it were "high misdemeanors" (Stewart, IMPEACHED, 77), so it set Johnson up for impeachment. Johnson appointed Grant Secretary of War ad interim, reported to the Senate "according to the requirements of the act" (as Stevens pointed out at the trial), then attempted to replace Stanton permanently with the alcoholic Lorenzo Thomas while the Senate was still deliberating his actions.
One might argue that Johnson's long history of illegally thwarting Congress would be a more serious crime, since it seemed to violate the Constitution's balance of powers and encouraged treason and terrorism, but Stevens was unable to get the House to impeach on this broader ground.
Several humorous situations resulted from Johnson's tactics. First, when he ignored Congress' requirements for Southern legislators and allowed Southerners to murder African Americans and Unionists who wanted to vote, Congress refused to call the names of the treasonous Confederates when they showed up to work in Washington, and this technicality prevented them from serving.
Second, when Lorenzo Thomas showed up for work at the War Office, Stanton declared Johnson's action illegal, had Thomas arrested, and, when he was freed, locked him out and camped in the office indefinitely, despite the protestations of Mrs. Stanton. Every day, Johnson sent Thomas over to try to get in, and every day Stanton refused to let him (IMPEACHED, 132-140, 149, 155-56).

Myths of Courage

2011-04-02T04:27:00.001-07:00

Charles Sumner, who was caned on the floor of the Senate.

In response to this post on Andrew Johnson's impeachment, Karen writes:

Senator Edmund Ross is one of the eight Senators featured in John F. Kennedy and Theodore Sorensen's 1956 Pulitzer Prize-winning history, "Profiles in Courage."
I haven't read the book yet, but I understand it commemorates past acts of political courage in Congress.

Though arguably one of our better presidents, John F. Kennedy was not a great historian and was a man of his time who accepted the myths about Reconstruction disseminated by the Dunning school. I again refer Karen, and anyone interested in the truth about Johnson's impeachment, to Stewart's favorably reviewed book:

It is long past time to reclaim Thaddeus Stevens as a great American figure.
Conversely, the myth should be abandoned that there was much of heroism in the acquittal votes of Edmund Ross and John Henderson. The national pantheon should be closed to those who trade votes for cash and patronage favors. (IMPEACHED 319)

A full list of Kennedy's errors on the treatment of this subject is included in Stewart's notes, pp. 424-25. (There you will learn to avoid William Rehnquist's and Woodrow Wilson's books on the subject as well.) Here is a summary:

1.There is "no evidence to support" Kennedy's claim that "Ross was appointed to the Senate in 1866 as part of a Radical conspiracy to impeach the president."
2.The Tenure of Office Act was not a "cry for more patronage" but an attempt to prevent Johnson from getting rid of Lincoln appointees, especially Edwin M. Stanton, Secretary of War, who was cracking down on white Southern violence.
3.Kennedy "describes Johnson as eager for a court test" of the act (this was the argument of the defense at his conviction trial). In fact, Thaddeus Stevens, as I have read in the original record* of the proceedings, showed that Johnson first complied with the act and then deliberately violated it when Congress used it to thwart his desire to get rid of Stanton and appoint Lorenzo Thomas (an undistinguished, alcoholic yes man). Stewart points out, "Johnson never tried to bring a court challenge to it [the act]."
4. Kennedy claims Radical Republicans engaged in bribery and corruption. Bribery and corruption were the order of the day, and no doubt both sides engaged in them. For instance, it was legal for members of Congress to take bets on the outcome of the trial, which of course created conflicts of interest. But, Stewart writes, "most of the attempts at bribery were made by the president's men." This makes sense, since Johnson had clearly violated the law, and popular sentiment was on the Republican side.
5. Kennedy also makes errors about the number of Democrats in the Senate, the date of the fight over admitting Colorado and Nebraska into the Union, and the date of Butler's claim that money was available to bribe Ross.

If you are still planning to read Kennedy's book, you might like to know that, according to Stewart, Nicolas Lemann's REDEMPTION "identifies comparable errors and omissions in Kennedy's chapter celebrating Mississippi Senator Lucius Lamar."

*Click the link and then "page turner" to read the record.

RBUD's Queries Answered

2011-03-30T05:40:00.001-07:00

Ben Wade, who saved Oberlin.

Doug queries: Was the President Pro Tem of the Senate once after the Veep in order of accession?

Yes, RBUD, for 100+ years. But there were problems when presidents died at times when there were no vice president and no President pro tempore, so the rules were changed. You can read about it here.
While we are talking about Ben Wade, I just wanted to mention that, according to Toyplayer, who got this from Hans Trefousse's BENJAMIN FRANKLIN WADE, when my alma mater, Oberlin College, began admitting African Americans (before any other college), the Ohio legislature tried to shut it down, but Ben Wade kept it open.
And in case anyone was wondering about Benjamin Franklin Wade and Benjamin Franklin Butler having the same first and middle names, clearly there was a vogue around the turn of the century for naming boys after Revolutionary War heroes. Thaddeus Stevens was named after the Polish hero, Thaddeus Kosciuszko. Charles Sumner may have been the exception among Radical Republicans, but we can all remember him for having been caned into a coma on the floor of the Senate for his beliefs.*

*Anastasia wishes me to state that while the actions of Representative Preston Brooks of South Carolina were clearly reprehensible, perhaps there was something in the WAY Senator Sumner expressed himself that might partially excuse such behavior.

Andrew Johnson: Hero No More

2011-03-29T04:11:00.001-07:00

Benjamin Franklin Butler, Chairman of the House Managers Committee. Known to the South as "Beast Butler."

Karen wants to know how Andrew Johnson survived being impeached.
In a nutshell, bribery and corruption. As you may read in David O. Stewart's book, IMPEACHED: THE TRIAL OF PRESIDENT ANDREW JOHNSON AND THE FIGHT FOR LINCOLN'S LEGACY, there were several slush funds raised by a shady group of men with ties to various sources of shady money, including customs house money, whiskey ring money, money from cheating the Indians (with the blessing of the Bureau of Indian Affairs), and Democratic machine (Boss Tweed, et al.) money. No one has ever traced most of the $100,000 that was raised, but Stewart has done a good job of showing that some of it, at least, most probably went to Senator Edmund Ross, one of the seven Republicans Johnson needed to vote against conviction. Johnson also promoted Ross and his friends after the trial.
Other reasons for votes for Johnson included sympathy for the white South, indifference to the plight of African Americans, concern for the cotton crop should freed slaves become independent farmers, a dislike of President of the Senate pro tem Ben Wade, who would have succeeded Johnson, a complacency based on the certainty of Grant's election ten months after the trial, and a general suspicion of the "extremist" Radical Republicans.

Weirsdo Bragging Again

2011-03-26T19:21:00.000-07:00

Mr. S., Mall Diva, and colleagues at NSU's Violin Gala.

Let us congratulate Toyplayer on his first place win in the Very Red State HIstory Day competition for his individual performance project, "The Impeachment of Andrew Johnson: How He Survived." We look forward to attending the National History Day competition in June.
And we congratulate Mall Diva on winning first prize at the University of Alabama, Huntsville, Piano Festival today.

Our hero, Thaddeus Stevens: Scourge of the Very Blue (at the time) States.

Hard Solo Yankelevated

2011-03-23T05:20:00.000-07:00

We congratulate Hard Solo on winning the GRAND PRIZE in the Yankelevitch International Violin Competition! Here's another clip for you:

In related news, we had a great time at Professor S.' Violin Gala at NSU last night. Mall Diva played very well and has improved amazingly over the year.
Mrs. Weirsdo

Hard Solo Going Up Hill

2011-03-11T04:18:00.000-08:00

We wish Hard Solo the best in the finals of the Michael Hill International Competition.
He is playing the Fugue from the Bach SONATA IN G MINOR here.

Ask Weirsdo: Who Is Big Pooh?

2011-03-06T06:06:00.000-08:00

Karen wants to know who Big Pooh is.
Big Pooh, a cousin of Pooh, is a Captist veteran of the Captist-UnCaptist War, known among Captists as the War of UnCaptist Aggression, or the War Between the States of the Soul. Despite being held by Hobbes Junior and other sensible denizens of Stuffed Animal Planet to be rather foolish, Big Pooh is a highly respected Captist because he sacrificed himself to be the Playfellow first of Christopher himself, and later of Lord Dumbledore, Angel of Captist Purity (pictured above). Big Pooh wears the stuffing leakage around his throat as a badge of honor.
After Annie stole Frederick from Elizabeth, Elizabeth married Big Pooh in a fit of pique and desperation. He is a leader in the Cat Claw Clan and figures in "Gone With the Captists" during the raid on Pansitown and its aftermath.

Awkward

2011-03-04T05:19:00.000-08:00

There were Big Pooh and Elizabeth, their beady eyes blazing.

Annie Spun Around . . .

2011-03-03T04:42:00.001-08:00

Big Pooh is open-mouthed with shock.

And Annie . . .

2011-03-02T05:04:00.000-08:00

Elizabeth would love to pay Annie back for stealing Frederick. Big Pooh is scandalized by Annie's UnCaptist behavior.

Uh-Oh!!

2011-03-01T05:01:00.000-08:00

Elizabeth and Big Pooh surprise Annie and Pooh.

and, leaning down, laid his cheek against hers. Annie relaxed against him and her forelegs went round his body, as far as they could reach.
Suddenly they heard footsteps outside, and Pooh wrenched himself from her,

Uh-Oh!

2011-02-28T05:40:00.000-08:00

pressed her head against his shoulder,

Uh-Oh

2011-02-27T05:08:00.000-08:00

"Annie, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you upset. I don't want you to ever be anything but happy."
But tears had started in her eyes. He took her gently in his forelegs,

Memories

2011-02-26T05:26:00.000-08:00

"Annie you get prettier all the time. You look the same as you did, that day at the barbeque, do you remember? You were sitting under a crepe myrtle with a dozen males around you. I can even remember your dress, a white one with a green sash, and--" he stopped abruptly and the eager light faded from his eyes. "We've come a long way, both of us, since that day, haven't we, Annie? We've traveled a path we never expected to travel. You charging ahead, and I shambling reluctantly."
"Oh, Pooh, I hate to hear you talk like that." she said vehemently. "You shouldn't look back. What good will it do? Oh, Pooh, nothing has turned out as we expected." Her heart was suddenly dull with pain, with weariness, as she thought of the long way she had come since those days.

Encouraging Pooh

2011-02-25T06:32:00.001-08:00

"Figures are well lost when the bonnet's as pretty as that one," he said.

Annie Loses Her Figures

2011-02-24T05:10:00.000-08:00

"Oh, don't let's fool with any books this afternoon, Pooh! I can't be bothered. When I'm wearing a new bonnet, all the figures I ever knew just go right out of my head."

Annie Encouraged

2011-02-23T05:38:00.000-08:00

"Oh, I won't let on. I'll be the most surprised stuffed animal in Petesville," said Pooh, his eyes laughing. He looked like the old Pooh when he smiled like this, and he smiled so seldom these days. "Come, Annie, I'm going over the books."

Pooh Surprised

2011-02-22T05:32:00.001-08:00

"Why, Annie what are you doing at the honey shop this time of day? Why aren't you in my den helping Anastasia get ready for the surprise party?" Pooh asked.
"Why, Pooh Bear!" She cried indignantly, "You weren't supposed to know a thing about it. Anastasia will be so disappointed if you aren't surpised"

Annie Excited

2011-02-20T20:36:00.001-08:00

It was Pooh's birthday and Anastasia was giving him a surprise reception that night. Every stuffed animal who was nice had been invited and was coming. Annie was very excited to get to spend all evening with Pooh, and she was even more thrilled when Anastasia asked her to go look after Pooh at the honey business, and make sure he did not return to the den early.

Going Further with the Captists

2011-02-07T06:46:00.001-08:00

Diamonelle is relieved that Gone with the Captists has not yet performed its swan song.
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

"Gone with the Captists" begins in April, 2007 on the blog and continues off and on through the July, 2008 archives, again from the Sept., 2008-March, 2009 archives, and from the Aug.-Sept., '09 archives. Resuming toward the end of Oct., 2009, our chronicle runs through Nov. and the early part of Dec. with only brief interruption. We continued the saga from the end of Jan., 2010 through the beginning of Feb., and for most of March. We now prepare to resume again.

Frustrated in her love for Pooh, who married his cousin Anastasia, Annie (Anastasia's sister) married Percy, a flyer in the Captist Air Force, just before the war. During the war, in which Percy was killed, Annie helped deliver Anastasia's sickly baby, little O, in Petesville, and, with the help of the daring but intensely irritating Hobbes Junior, retreated during the Fall of Petesville to her mother's estate.
Annie's father, Hobbes, had been kidnapped by UnCaptists and was being held in Ork, and her mother Julia, a Litteral Captist fanatic, had gone a bit funny, or funnier, so Annie, Anastasia, and the few Captist servants who stuck with the family were left to keep the wolf from the door. Anastasia was sickly and busy with her sickly baby and any needy Captist who came around begging for a handout, so it was Annie who cared for the beehives and planted the estate's football field with crops so they could eat. Her only helper was Ginny, an orphan Anastasia took in, who proved a useful farmhand.
Pooh came home, but he was clumsy and not much help. He also rejected Annie's advances. On top of this, Julia's former steward, Red Baboon, came by with his jumped up Captist trash wife, Tawdry Cattery, and told Annie she'd have to come up with three hundred Stuffed Animal Planet dollars in taxes or Julia's estate would be his.
Receiving a letter telling of Percy's fall into a volcano in Ork, Annie journeyed to Petesville, where she offered to be Hobbes Junior's mistress in return for the 300 $APs needed to save the estate. Stuck in an UnCaptist prison after his questionable career as war privateer turned Captist officer, Hobbes Junior heard the humiliating request but refused on the grounds that any attempt to access his money would lead the UnCaptists to it. On the way home Annie met Percy's brother Frederick, who had an understanding with her cousin Elizabeth. Frederick had a store and some money, so Annie told him Elizabeth didn't love him and got him to marry her instead.
Annie ran the store ruthlessly, to the male chauvinist Frederick's surprise and dismay. One day, Hobbes Junior stopped by and after teasing her, revealed that he had lots of money and had come to make sure she was all right. She borrowed money from him to buy a honeyworks for herself (Frederick had no part in it). She then hired Pooh, who had been on the point of moving his family to Ork, to manage it.
Anastasia loved being back in Petesville and was grateful to Annie for all her "kindness" to her and Pooh. Pooh was a hopeless manager, but Annie really did everything anyway.
The corrupt UnCaptist government allowed or even encouraged all kinds of crimes against Captists, the worst of which were assaults on unprotected Captist ladies. The Captist males formed the Cat Claw Clan to defend themselves and the purity of Captist femalehood against these threats.* Annie made Frederick promise not to join, but she worried about him.
On the evening after Annie herself was attacked on her way past the rundown Pansitown and only saved by the timely intervention of Mrs. Arshmol/Ugluk, the Captist bear-menfolk mysteriously did not come home until late, and an UnCaptist patrol headed by Captain Tom the Lone Shark surrounded the house. At last Hobbes Junior, Pooh and Big Pooh returned, all, seemingly, very drunk. This ruse and Hobbes Jr.'s story that they had been visiting Belle Catley's house of ill repute caused Tom the Lone Shark and his troops to leave, but really Pooh was wounded and Frederick killed in their attack on Pansitown.
At first, Annie hardly noticed her widowhood, she was so concerned about Pooh. But when it was clear he would recover, she realized what a bad bear she had been and took to drinking alone in her room, fearing everlasting torments such as attending NG4J rehearsals for all eternity, until one day Hobbes Jr. kissed her into marrying him.
In the beginning she was very happy with him. He spent a lot of money on her and showed her a good time. But there were a few bees in the honeycomb. Annie was annoyed, for instance, when Hobbes Jr. burned her ENTIRE collection of Franc's latest line. And he was high-pawed in other respects as well. For instance, he tricked her into renaming Frederick's General Store the "Caveat Emptorium," and only Pooh's kindly telling her what it meant as the sign was being installed put a stop to this embarrassment.
Then there was the baby. Horrified when she discovered she was pregnant, Annie liked her little doll more than she had expected, but she was astonished and even a little bothered by the almost unbear-manly way Hobbes Jr. loved and indulged the child.
Soon Annie began to use her baby's playing with Little O as an excuse to see Pooh more often. After Anastasia made a remark about the little girl's hair color, she was christened "Penny."
Not only did Annie hate the name, she disapproved of Pooh's softness as manager of her honeyworks. Pooh interpreted her disapproval as evidence of Hobbes Jr.'s coarsening influence.
Moved by his concern and a desire to have no more cubs, Annie kicked Hobbes Jr. out of her den. This was not as satisfying as she had hoped, since Hobbes Jr. seemed eager to roam, and his exit left her feeling forlorn. She could not even think of a delicate way to impress Pooh with the news. . . .

*This is, of course, the Captist side of the story. For our real view, click here.

Weirsdo's Back!

2011-02-03T20:41:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone!!! I feel as effervescent as Pansi! This new computer is totally cool, as is my new clean study where it is housed. Mall Diva comes home almost every weekend to teach her students, so we will be continuing with "Gone with the Captists" soon.
Other than the new computer, nothing much is new here. Oh, except Auburn's National Championship. Congratulations to those guys. It was great watching them. Interestingly, two of my students just got cute puppies. One is named "Cam," and the other is named after me.
See you soon!
Mrs. Weirsdo

What to Her WUndeRing Eyes Doth Appear . . .

2010-12-29T11:49:00.000-08:00

(Dr. Minnie Strator's Memo, continued)

Incidentally, ANY and ALL griping over supposed slights Dr. Weirsdo may imagine he has experienced at the hands of the administration (the fruitions of hopes expressed in my last Operation WUndeR report) is henceforth rendered null and void. Why? Because in our infinite wisdom, we granted him a Diversity Award!
Let us give thanks for a WUndeRous year!
Yours in Christinane Gratitude,
Dr. Minnie Strator

It's a WUndeRful Life

2010-12-22T20:00:00.000-08:00

Happy Holidays, one and all!
A new computer, complete with WiFi, will be installed in Mrs. Weirsdo's study sometime in January! Scarface bless us, every one!
In the meantime, we are visiting the Grandparents Weirsdo, and I look forward to visiting the blog(s) of everyone who is still on commenting terms with me on the grandparents' computer.
But first, answers and an update from everyone's favorite Humbugger, Dr. Minnie Strator.

MEMO
To: "Stuffed Animal Tales" victims
From: Dr. Minnie Strator

Greetings, and, I am not ashamed to say, Merry CHRISTmas!
I feel called upon to clear up Doug's misapprehensions regarding our Diversity Program here at Veryred State University. He wrote: ". . . the very existence of a diversity not sequestered to the `Student Life' department of the administration fairly mocks [Dr. Strator]."
Au contraire, my fellow administrator. The ENTIRE Diversity Program at Veryred State is in fact a stroke of administrative brilliance. No doubt you have forgotten the trivial incident MANY years ago now when several high spirited Veryred students who happened to be Caucasian dressed as lynchers and African American lynchee for a costume party and, in a misguided but completely understandable homage to their heritage, posted pictures of the event on the Internet.
Trifling though this incident was, it nevertheless raised many troubling issues, most obviously, how inexpensively the University administration could show how deeply we care about them. Clearly, serious penalties for the students or their well-endowed fraternity would be out of keeping with Veryred's student-friendly orientation, besides raising unpleasant specters of decreased alumni giving, or even lawsuits. On the other hand, the times we live in being what they are, a simple and more than adequate apology by the studens, their fraternity, and even the Unversity itself, might be judged to be grounds for proceeding with lawsuits from the opposite side of the spectrum, i. e. disgruntled minorities and Liberals.
What to do? Shrinking violet though I generally am when it comes to claiming credit, I must acknowledge that it was I, Dr. Minnie Strator, who found the third horn to the dilemma. Why not launch a fullscale Diversity initiative across the curriculum of the University? This accomplished a staggering number of desirable objectives:
1. Celebration, not punishment. EVERYBODY'S heritage is worth celebrating! Any continued "outrage" over lynch reenactments just looks sour and immature now!
2. Seriousness. The magnitude implied by "across the curriculum" silences anyone who might otherwise accuse the University of not taking the incident "seriously."
3. Administration enlargement. Need I say more? When is this NOT a good thing?
4. Minority hiring. The new chief administrator of the Diversity Program would of COURSE be a minority!
5. Curriculum Dilution. Always dear to my heart. What better way to celebrate diversity than by getting credit for attending cultural events such as movies, concerts, dance events, and theater! All student-centered, non-threatening means of truly engaging the students in Learning!
6. Largely symbolic "awards" for the faculty. Really, no other awards should ever even be considered. Those pointy heads can get really big really fast!
(to be continued . . .)

Weirsdo Update

2010-07-19T18:54:00.000-07:00

Hello. I have missed everyone. We still have the same outdated computer. I am having a go on it because I miss writing and the cyberworld, but since I still cannot access, for example, the Cheesemeister's Netherworld blogs, I'm not ready to come back permanently.
I REALLY miss Icy! I wish you an afterlife filled with Barbie chew toys. I'm glad to see that Tom has put his blogs back up, and I hope we can still make you laugh from time to time, Tom.
Mall Diva finished up her year in style, giving an impressive recital on piano and violin (she played some of Dad's music), winning our Red State Music Teachers Association piano auditions, receiving their special award for "Outstanding Senior Performance" (despite heavy competition from the Russian studio up around B'ham), and being accepted to the Robert McDuffie Labor Day Festival for Strings.
We had a good time visiting with the Grandparents Weirsdo in Atlanta for their 60th wedding anniversary. We visited the Cyclorama, the Fernbank Museum of Natural History, the aquarium, and the Coke Museum (not recommended unless you enjoy paying for propaganda). At the High Museum we saw a terrific display of high performance and luxury automobiles and a fun show of contemporary design, and at Anthony's we had a wonderful dinner, and the waiter gave the kids instructions on fine dining. We also saw TOY STORY 3 in 3-D, which was a treat.
Later on, Toyplayer, HA and I had our annual summer trip to Kansas City to visit Grandma Weirsdoer. Besides enjoying an extended visit with HA and our favorite Columbia, MO restaurant, the Pasta Factory (love their chicken picatta), we had fun hearing Toyplayer read us THE TITAN'S CURSE and playing "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?" (we weren't) with Grandma Weirsdoer.
I have just come back from visiting Mall Diva at the Bowdoin International Music Festival. According to Mall Diva, compared to Bowdoin, a certain other festival is "just a retreat for rich kids who happen to play an instrument." Mall Diva has real friends for almost the first time in her life--people who are doing what she's doing and aren't jealous or otherwise put off by her dedication. The students schedule and run their own chamber music rehearsals, so they have a lot of responsibility, and Mall Diva says you hear remarks like, "I have to really practice tomorrow; I only got in 4 hours today" often. (Oh, and in case you hadn't guessed, most of the students are Asian.) I think, and Mr. S. agrees, that Mall Diva is noticeably developing her sound and the personality of her playing in this environment.
Incidentally, Hard Solo was supposed to go to Bowdoin for the second half, but accidentally booked a ticket to Portland, OR instead and can't get the airline to refund his money, so he may not. Nobody's perfect.
Besides hearing Mall Diva play great chamber music, I watched some great teaching in the master classes and saw a fantastic concert with the Ying Quartet and Ray Chen, who just won the Queen Elisabeth Competition. I also visited with a colleague of Dr. Weirsdo's who has started his own graduate school for visual artists who want Ph.D's, ate well (including lobster, of course) at local restaurants, and enjoyed picturesque downtown Portland as well as Bowdoin.
Until next time, I am thinking of you guys often.
Mrs. Weirsdo

Weirsdos vs. WUndeR

2010-04-17T05:02:00.001-07:00

Diamonelle has no use for administrators.
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

We congratulate Mall Diva on receiving a half scholarship to study with Professor S. at NSU, Mrs. Weirsdo for having a second place winner and an honorable mention student at the Veryred State Music Teachers auditions this year, and Dr. Weirsdo for receiving the Diversity Award from Veryred State University. Dr. Minnie Strator's Operation WUndeR report follows.

Annual Report to the President of Curriculum Dilution and the GOB (Good Ole Boy) Network
Veryred State University

Subject: Operation WUndeR (Weirsdo Under the Rug)

Dear Sir and GOBs:
This year Operation WUndeR is forced to acknowledge some setbacks; however, with reinstatement of the proper support and strategic use of belt-tightening budget measures, I believe these can be turned to the advantage of curriculum dilution, and therefore of our fine old traditions here in the Veryred State family.
First, I must note that the retirements of Professors Dense Wriggle and Smiler Hollowman, coupled with the promotion of Gorge Crammedwell into the lower echelon of administration, have created serious obstacles for Operation WUndeR. Slight scholars in their own rights, these three selflessly devoted themselves to the exalted tasks of Administration, six-handedly compressing Dr. Weirsdo's salary, denying him Honors courses as long as possible, doing him out of endowed professorships, and tirelessly pressuring him to honor our Veryred tradition of curriculum dilution in the classroom. It is no accident that since their departure, Dr. Weirsdo has suddenly become the poster child for "quality" in the English department here. Indeed, I feel strongly that in cutting off these six right hands, Veryred has virtually amputated the legs of Operation WUndeR as well.
Fortunately, the damage has as yet been slight. Dr. Weirsdo's position on various committees designed to implement assessment procedures keeps him busy while having no real effect on any one except the Writing faculty, who in opposition to the petty demands of Weirsdo and his kind that students "learn" grammar, etc., are now more firmly in our camp than ever.
Further, while Dr. Weirsdo's four books and many articles forced the department to award Dr. Weirsdo a semester off next spring (over the objections of Mrs. Hollowman, who is still on the faculty), he has so far been locked out of the university's grant cookie jar, and this committee is hopeful that a short leave every ten years or so will not significantly increase Dr. Weirsdo's "productivity" or raise his profile in the larger academic community.
The decision to give the university's Diversity Award to the aging white male Weirsdo, while laughable at first blush, is a more serious indication that someone upstairs has dropped the ball. Actual money is involved this time! We hasten to add, however, that the amount is piddling, especially when one considers that any whining Weirsdo might be inclined to indulge in regarding supposed lack of recognition for his output will now have zero credibility.
On a more wholly positive note, not to toot my own horn, I must point out that the elimination of an Honors track from core English courses will be of enormous benefit, not only to Operation WUndeR, but to the time-honored goals of Curriculum Dilution, and therefore to the Veryred State family as a whole. When Honors students stated on the survey I administered that Honors core courses were a barrier to efficient credentialization, I immediately saw an opportunity to begin realizing my vision of an Honors track without the elitism, i. e. one that, while still clearly labeled "Honors," does not differ substantially from the regular track!
Stripping the Honors track from core English courses accomplishes a three-pronged objective: 1. It facilitates student credentialization by eliminating nonessential work. 2. It minimizes the troubling tendency to equate "Honors" work with outmoded, anti-egalitarian concepts such as "harder," "smarter," or "better." And 3. It forces Dr. Weirsdo et. al. back to real teaching and eliminates inflated teaching assessments by students who have been led to share his narrow interest in "textual analysis," "literature," and other teacher-centered concepts.
In closing, I must state that I am hopeful that suitable replacements for Professors Wriggle, Hollowman, and Crammedwell will be found, that our pressing need for administrative salary funding in the current economy will direct funds away from Weirsdo, and that his troubling obsession with course objectives, Student Learning Outcomes (SLOs), etc., will demonstrate departmental concern for those agitators who share it while effecting no fundamental disruptions of our Veryred traditions.

Yours in fellowship,
Dr. Minnie Strator
Ass. VP, Curriculum Dilution
Chair, Operation WUndeR

Weirsdo Operating System Winner in Dinosaur Pageant*

2010-04-04T20:40:00.000-07:00

The incorruptible but apprehensive Diamonelle was a judge.

In a controversial decision, the operating system of the Weirsdo computer was awarded the title of "Ms. Easter Dinosaur" at the annual Stuffed Animal Planet Easter Dinosaur Pageant today. Several dinosaur owners, as well as some of the few articulate dinosaurs, objected that the operating system was "not a real dinosaur," and that it had only a tangential relationship to Stuffed Animal Planet because it resides primarily on Earth, in the Weirsdo mansion.
The judges held, however, that the rule book did not stipulate that dinosaurs had to be representative plastic reconstructions of the extinct Earth creatures, and further that the operating system in question was much more representatively dysfunctional and out of date than its Stuffed Animal Planet competitors.
As far as its relationship to Stuffed Animal Planet goes, Mrs. Weirsdo argued convincingly that the operating system was at the center of the fragile ecological web of that planet, a position strongly supported by special guest judge and former NG4J member, April, who also thought the computer contestant "looked hot in its thong!"

*Seriously, I am having increasing difficulties loading and commenting on people's blogs. I can only get Karen's on Explorer. I can load C. J. Duffy's on Explorer, but it won't let me comment. I can't do Disqus, Nessa. (I see you've removed it, but it's only a matter of time until another frustration or two grow in its place.) I can't load better stuff because this is Dr. Weirsdo's computer, and if it crashed because of something I did with all his work on it, marital difficulties would ensue. He has looked into upgrading the system, but apparently the computer is too old.
I will still try to post at least once a week, but I don't want to post without returning comments, which must now often be done via Mall Diva's Droid when I can get my hands on it, and touching those tiny little letters is still a pain in the pinky for me.
Apologies and Happy Easter to those who celebrate it,
Mrs. Weirsdo

Weirsdo Roundup: Congratulatory Postscript

2010-03-31T14:38:00.001-07:00

Diamonelle is patient, but really, Mrs. Weirsdo, enough is enough.
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

We forgot to mention before that Mall Diva has again won the District round of the Veryred Music Teachers Association piano auditions.
I'll shut up now.

Ask Weirsdo: Music at NSU

2010-03-30T12:40:00.001-07:00

The naturally gifted Diamonelle, who attended the university of hard knocks
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

Somewhat snarkily, it seemed to us, Karen commented on the last post, "Yay !! All of that and Nearby State University, too!"

In case that appears anticlimactic, I want to set the record straight, because I am definitely a spare-no-expense parent when it comes to educating my kids.
In addition to employing Mall Diva's amazing teacher, NSU is currently interviewing a recent Van Cliburn Competition winner for their piano professorship. Their viola professor was in the Orpheus Chamber Orchestra and is still Principal Viola of the NYC Ballet Orchestra. One of their cello professors won a Naumburg Solo Recording Prize and is up for a Grammy.
Mall Diva's teacher has very few slots open each year, so to get into his studio at fifteen is perhaps the biggest of the three honors. Really, her admission to the International Music Festival is linked to this, since he takes his students with him, and they don't have to audition to get in there.
Obviously, having Mall Diva go to NSU is very convenient for us, especially since she is too young to go far from home, in my view. She even gets in-state tuition, through a reciprocal agreement. I am told that the academics there generally leave a lot to be desired, and so I have tried to give Mall Diva a solid foundation of an education here. But we could have looked longer, spent more, and not gotten such a superb teacher and program. In addition to being an internationally renowned performer, this teacher is able to target physical and psychological impediments to making great music quickly and provide clear and effective advice on how to overcome these. And he is gracious and generous (as are his students, for the most part). I have seen a lot of great teachers, and he is the best I've seen for advanced students.

Weirsdo Roundup: More Congratulations

2010-03-29T18:38:00.001-07:00

As always, Diamonelle is gracious to other divas.
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

We also congratulate Mall Diva, who has been accepted into Tanglewood's Young Artists Orchestra program and the International Music Festival at Bowdoin, as well as, officially now, her teacher's studio at Nearby State University.

Weirsdo Roundup: Hard Solo Off and Away

2010-03-28T05:06:00.001-07:00

Diamonelle joins us in good wishes.
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

In happier news, we congratulate Hard Solo on getting in to Curtis (as if there had been any doubt!). Recently I had an opportunity to read chamber music with him between concerts, and it is the sort of experience one will one day tell one's musically inclined grandchildren about. Besides being incredibly talented, he is always gracious and polite to those of us who have more trouble sightreading Debussy than he does. We wish him well.

Concern for Tom & Icy & Red

2010-03-27T05:02:00.001-07:00

We miss you, Tom & Icy. We saw in a comment that your wife, Red, had taken a turn for the worse, Tom. We miss your inimitable work, but more than that, despite the limitations of cyberland we care about you, so we hope you will let us know how you and your family are doing when you can.

A Sorry Mess

2010-03-25T20:25:00.001-07:00

Annie fixin' to cry.
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

Annie had had her way. This was what she and Pooh wanted. But it was not making her happy. Her vanity was sore, and she was mortified that Hobbes Junior had taken it all so lightly, that he didn’t want her. She wished she could at least think of some delicate way to tell Pooh that she and Hobbes Junior were no longer actually mating, but she knew now she could not. It all seemed a terrible mess now. She would miss the long amusing conversations in bed with Hobbes Junior, and she would even miss the comfort of his forelegs when she woke. Suddenly she felt very unhappy, and began to whimper.

Annie Left Alone

2010-03-24T10:37:00.001-07:00

Annie heard Hobbes Jr. going to the nursery, where he was welcomed back by Penny.

Exit Hobbes Jr.

2010-03-23T10:34:00.001-07:00

Annie is left with her sanctity.
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

“Annie, understand this. If you and your bed still held any charms for me, no locks and no whimpering could keep me away. As it is, keep your chaste den, my dear.”
“Do you mean to tell me,” cried Annie, indignantly, “that you don’t care—“
“Keep your sanctity, Annie. It will work no hardship on me. It doesn’t matter,” he shrugged and grinned, “Fortunately the world is full of dens—and most of the dens are full of females.”
“You mean you’d actually be so—“
“My dear innocent! But of course. It’s a wonder I haven’t strayed long before this.”
“I shall lock my door every night!”
“Why bother? If I wanted you, no lock would keep me out.” He turned and left the room.

Not as Planned

2010-03-22T16:28:00.001-07:00

The conversation was not going quite right.
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

“My pet, as I told you before Penny was born, it is immaterial to me whether you have one cub or twenty.”
How perverse of Hobbes Jr. to evade the issue so neatly.
“I think one is enough,” Annie continued.
“One seems an adequate number.”
“You know very well—“ she began, embarrassed, “You know what I mean?”
“I do. Do you realize that I can divorce you for refusing me my mating rights?”
“You are just low enough to think of something like that!” she cried, annoyed that nothing was going as she had planned it.

Hobbes Jr. Distances Himself

2010-03-21T20:10:00.000-07:00

and moved away a few steps, sprawling in a corner.

He Merely Got Up . . .

2010-03-20T13:45:00.001-07:00

Hobbes Jr. makes a move. . . .
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

Hobbes Jr. Keeps His Cool

2010-03-19T13:06:00.001-07:00

Annie makes the bed she will lie in.
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

If he was startled he did not show it.

Cutting Him Off

2010-03-18T20:25:00.000-07:00

“Hobbes Junior,” Annie said abruptly, “I’ve decided that I don’t want any more offspring.”

But It Was Just Her Imagination . . .

2010-03-17T18:39:00.001-07:00

Pooh, embracing her!
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

If Only It Were Pooh . . .

2010-03-16T21:49:00.000-07:00

If Only . . .

2010-03-15T21:12:00.000-07:00

Hobbes Jr. embraces Annie.

Annie in Love's Embrace

2010-03-14T21:17:00.000-07:00

All the way home Annie’s mind raced. There was no excuse for what Pooh had said. No excuse at all except—except that he loved her! And he thought Hobbes Junior’s embraces coarsened her, brutalized her! Well, if Pooh thought that, she could do very well without those embraces. And then, too, there was the practical side of it. It would mean no more offspring.
When she reached home she began to face the prospect of telling Hobbes Junior that she wanted separate bedrooms and all which that implied. It was better to have it over now while Pooh’s love was giving her strength. While she was sitting in her bedroom, wondering how she would tell Pooh that she had denied herself to Hobbes Junior, he came into the room, and sitting down next to her, embraced her.

Weirsdo Roundup: Netherworld News

2010-03-12T05:55:00.000-08:00

DOO-DOO GIRL'S LAUNCH OF TEXTILE EXHIBIT MARRED BY JEALOUSY
Recently Doo-Doo Girl was proud to launch the ship OCTOBOMB on an intergalactic tour that will include the Vogon homeworld. Chock full of exhibits and overpriced tie-in merchandise, the ship is expected to be "a cultural emissary the likes of which have not been seen since China sent over the pandas under my American reign--er--administration," according to Netherworld President Nixon.
Exhibits will include holographic representations of NG4J and Death Cheese, as well as a batch of Doo-Doo Girl's latest quilts.
The pièce de résistance, however, is a demonstration of arachnean textile artistry, the product of a collaboration among Doo-Doo Girl (artistic director), her pharm lord consort Dr. Doo-Doo, and, of course, the spiders of the Netherworld Hotel.
Doo-Doo Girl's speech on the occasion of the launch began well, but it soon became clear that her smile masked a deep underlying hurt. Doo-Doo Girl broke down, chugged the bottle of 'shine that was supposed to christen the OCTOBOMB, and began ranting about having heard that Dr. Doo-Doo was "peddling his wares to despairing former divas." Not recognizing this apparent reference to herself and the other NG4J Netherworld remnants, Doo-Doo Girl demanded to know who these so-called "divas" were, and asked if anyone in the audience had golf clubs.
Alvin Chipmunkk, meanwhile, seized the opportunity to try to stow away in the confusion. He was reportedly crushed over the chilly response of NG4J to his recent audition.
Last but never least, Vice-President Flowering Kudzu attacked a holographic representation of Death Cheese lead "singer," Axe Man, apparently in a jealous rage over Axe's infatuation with lighting technician Nosferotten.
Fortunately FOGNL techs were on hand to film the debacle and include it in the OCTOBOMB cargo. We feel confident the exhibits will be a true cross-section of Netherworld cultural offerings.

Missed Opportunity

2010-03-10T13:19:00.001-08:00

Just as Pooh lurched back . . .
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

“I tell you I can’t bear it, seeing your soft plush worn threadbare by him, knowing that your beauty and your charm are in the keeping of a bear who—When I think of him pawing you, I—“
“He’s going to kiss me!” thought Annie ecstatically, and swayed towards him, but he lurched back suddenly, as if realizing he had said too much.
“I apologize most humbly, Annie. I—I have been insinuating that your husband is not a Gentle Ben—and I—I haven’t any excuse at all.”

Another Black Mark on Hobbes Junior

2010-03-09T13:45:00.001-08:00

Pooh sways involuntarily toward Annie.
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

“Oh,” Annie panted, guilt struggling with joy that Pooh should feel so deeply about her, should think her sweet. Thank Christopher, he thought Hobbes to blame for her penny-pinching ways. Of course Hobbes Junior had nothing to do with it, but another black mark on Hobbes Junior could do him no harm.

A Piece of Pooh's Mind

2010-03-08T10:45:00.001-08:00

Pooh explains.
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

"Who has whatted me?"
“I’ve got to say it and I haven’t any right. But I’ve got to say it. Your—Hobbes Junior. He has taken you who were so sweet and soft and generous, for all your spirited ways, and he has done this to you—hardened you, brutalized you by his contact.”

Pooh's Scruples

2010-03-07T20:06:00.001-08:00

Pooh bares his soul.
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

She did not want to say anything, but Pooh seemed to read her face, “Annie, I’m sorry. All I can say is, I can’t drive stuffed animals.”
“Pooh, you are just too soft hearted! You ought to get more work out of them. A couple of licks will cure—“
“Annie! Annie! Stop! I can’t bear to hear you talk that way,” cried Pooh, his eyes coming back to her with a fierceness that stopped her short, “Don’t you realize we're ALL stuffed animals together—Oh, my dear, I can’t bear to see the way he has brutalized you, you who were always so sweet—“

More Pooh Failure

2010-03-06T21:50:00.000-08:00

Annie went to the honey works to check up on Pooh's progress there. It was not good. During her pregnancy he had made hardly enough to cover expenses.

One Day

2010-03-05T21:08:00.001-08:00

Annie and Pooh in the office.

[back in "Gone with the Captists"] . . .

Plea for Captist Prayer

2010-03-01T19:08:00.001-08:00

Scarface: A case in a case.

O Friends in Captism!
Know that Avatar Scarface was recently hospitalized in grave distress from a bout of asthma! Although he is now returned to the bosom of his Earth family in the Weirsdo mansion, his condition remains doubtful and may be chronic.
We therefore urge all Believers (even the UnLitteral ones who will later be cast into outer darkness where there is barking and gnashing of teeth) to pray for Scarface, for Cats everywhere, and for your own sins, which CHRISTOPHER, through Scarface, willingly takes upon himself.
We especially urge All to pray for the repentance of the Hairetick Dr. Weirsdo, whose bargain brand Cat Litter may be the Earthly culprit here!
Blessings in Captism (especially Litteral Captism),
High Priestess Julia

Weirsdo Roundup: Celebrations and Apologies

2010-02-26T19:18:00.001-08:00

Diamonelle is untroubled by all this irrelevant news.
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

Belatedly, and over Pansi's objections, we join Brittney in wishing the Cheesemeister a happy birthday. We hope there were no ill effects from the cupcakes.
We apologize to the Chestbursters and Wheelz for Pansi's rudeness. We would apologize to Emrald, but we're not sure she noticed.

Weirsdo Roundup: Belated Appreciation Department

2010-02-24T14:49:00.000-08:00

Diamonelle has been appreciated ever since her arrival on Stuffed Animal Planet.

I have talked about this student here before; she is studying to be a violist at Vanderbilt. Her grandmother sent me this today. This student also once described me as "an acquired taste." It's interesting and gratifying to know I've had an effect.

my friend Caroline is playing the four seasons for her sophomore recital and I am in the small orchestra accompanying her. We had rehearsal last night and it made me recall instantly and vividly the time we played winter in Mrs. Weirsdo's church. I did not care about music then at all, I was not listening, I was not paying attention, I didn't really know there was a soloist, everything was over my head and I did not care. But I remember playing over and over again the viola entrances, and nailed them again all these many years later; I also remember really getting into the stormy bits in the first movement, and how they evoked to me exactly the taste and texture and color of hershey's milk chocolate. Maybe the first time I had an awesome musical experience in an orchestra. Anyway it was cool.