Diamonelle Checks Out Presidents Johnson

Diamonelle explains., a photo by weirsdo on Flickr.

Yo homies! 'Tsup? I heard my favorite blog was all about the johnsons, and I hurried home from my intergalactic Christinane-Captist tour with Snoop Kitty-Kat to check it out!
Homeboy C. J. was writing:

I remember Johnson. I remember, vaguely, JFK's death and then seeing this very ordinary man appear on the BBC. He didn't seem to have that magic that JFK had and seemed very un-rock an roll to me as ten year old. I wonder how someone like him would fare in todays razzle dazzle world full of spin?

Being that it is just a hop skip and a jump from spinning records to spinning presidential records, I consulted Mrs. Weirsdo and ToyPlayah, and decided to take this one on.

Sorry, CJD, but you seem confused--
See, Uncle Sam has got two Johnsons--no need to be amused.
First there was A. J., number seventeen--
He just might be a red neck, if you know what I mean.

When Lincoln was picked off, A. J. went from veep to VIP
Bad news for the country, but he thought it was a trip.
Started acting all phat with his planter friends,
Dissed all the freedmen, didn't wanna make amends.

When the Congress tried to stop him he went on a tear,
But his Swing Around the Circle just proved he was a square.
He was hand in glove with the Ku Klux Klan;
Thad Stevens got his posse, "Let's imPEACH the man!"

Thad the Rad impeached, but he couldn't convict.
They had him dead to rights; they just couldn't make it stick.
See Ross was a slicker, he was slicker than slick,
Johnson bought his vote (this is makin' me sick).

I ain't gotta tell you what you already know,
How the South won Reconstruction, and they served up Jim Crow.
Nobody could tell all the trouble and pains,
But we shot down that Goliath with some help from Lyndon Baines.

To be continued . . .