Weirsdo Roundup: Congratulatory Postscript

Diamonelle is patient, but really, Mrs. Weirsdo, enough is enough.
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

We forgot to mention before that Mall Diva has again won the District round of the Veryred Music Teachers Association piano auditions.
I'll shut up now.

Ask Weirsdo: Music at NSU

The naturally gifted Diamonelle, who attended the university of hard knocks
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

Somewhat snarkily, it seemed to us, Karen commented on the last post, "Yay !! All of that and Nearby State University, too!"

In case that appears anticlimactic, I want to set the record straight, because I am definitely a spare-no-expense parent when it comes to educating my kids.
In addition to employing Mall Diva's amazing teacher, NSU is currently interviewing a recent Van Cliburn Competition winner for their piano professorship. Their viola professor was in the Orpheus Chamber Orchestra and is still Principal Viola of the NYC Ballet Orchestra. One of their cello professors won a Naumburg Solo Recording Prize and is up for a Grammy.
Mall Diva's teacher has very few slots open each year, so to get into his studio at fifteen is perhaps the biggest of the three honors. Really, her admission to the International Music Festival is linked to this, since he takes his students with him, and they don't have to audition to get in there.
Obviously, having Mall Diva go to NSU is very convenient for us, especially since she is too young to go far from home, in my view. She even gets in-state tuition, through a reciprocal agreement. I am told that the academics there generally leave a lot to be desired, and so I have tried to give Mall Diva a solid foundation of an education here. But we could have looked longer, spent more, and not gotten such a superb teacher and program. In addition to being an internationally renowned performer, this teacher is able to target physical and psychological impediments to making great music quickly and provide clear and effective advice on how to overcome these. And he is gracious and generous (as are his students, for the most part). I have seen a lot of great teachers, and he is the best I've seen for advanced students.

Weirsdo Roundup: More Congratulations

As always, Diamonelle is gracious to other divas.
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

We also congratulate Mall Diva, who has been accepted into Tanglewood's Young Artists Orchestra program and the International Music Festival at Bowdoin, as well as, officially now, her teacher's studio at Nearby State University.

Weirsdo Roundup: Hard Solo Off and Away

Diamonelle joins us in good wishes.
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

In happier news, we congratulate Hard Solo on getting in to Curtis (as if there had been any doubt!). Recently I had an opportunity to read chamber music with him between concerts, and it is the sort of experience one will one day tell one's musically inclined grandchildren about. Besides being incredibly talented, he is always gracious and polite to those of us who have more trouble sightreading Debussy than he does. We wish him well.

Concern for Tom & Icy & Red

We miss you, Tom & Icy. We saw in a comment that your wife, Red, had taken a turn for the worse, Tom. We miss your inimitable work, but more than that, despite the limitations of cyberland we care about you, so we hope you will let us know how you and your family are doing when you can.

A Sorry Mess

Annie fixin' to cry.
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

Annie had had her way. This was what she and Pooh wanted. But it was not making her happy. Her vanity was sore, and she was mortified that Hobbes Junior had taken it all so lightly, that he didn’t want her. She wished she could at least think of some delicate way to tell Pooh that she and Hobbes Junior were no longer actually mating, but she knew now she could not. It all seemed a terrible mess now. She would miss the long amusing conversations in bed with Hobbes Junior, and she would even miss the comfort of his forelegs when she woke. Suddenly she felt very unhappy, and began to whimper.

Annie Left Alone

Annie heard Hobbes Jr. going to the nursery, where he was welcomed back by Penny.

Exit Hobbes Jr.

Annie is left with her sanctity.
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

“Annie, understand this. If you and your bed still held any charms for me, no locks and no whimpering could keep me away. As it is, keep your chaste den, my dear.”
“Do you mean to tell me,” cried Annie, indignantly, “that you don’t care—“
“Keep your sanctity, Annie. It will work no hardship on me. It doesn’t matter,” he shrugged and grinned, “Fortunately the world is full of dens—and most of the dens are full of females.”
“You mean you’d actually be so—“
“My dear innocent! But of course. It’s a wonder I haven’t strayed long before this.”
“I shall lock my door every night!”
“Why bother? If I wanted you, no lock would keep me out.” He turned and left the room.

Not as Planned

The conversation was not going quite right.
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

“My pet, as I told you before Penny was born, it is immaterial to me whether you have one cub or twenty.”
How perverse of Hobbes Jr. to evade the issue so neatly.
“I think one is enough,” Annie continued.
“One seems an adequate number.”
“You know very well—“ she began, embarrassed, “You know what I mean?”
“I do. Do you realize that I can divorce you for refusing me my mating rights?”
“You are just low enough to think of something like that!” she cried, annoyed that nothing was going as she had planned it.

Hobbes Jr. Distances Himself

and moved away a few steps, sprawling in a corner.

He Merely Got Up . . .

Hobbes Jr. makes a move. . . .
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

Hobbes Jr. Keeps His Cool

Annie makes the bed she will lie in.
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

If he was startled he did not show it.

Cutting Him Off

“Hobbes Junior,” Annie said abruptly, “I’ve decided that I don’t want any more offspring.”

But It Was Just Her Imagination . . .

Pooh, embracing her!
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

If Only It Were Pooh . . .

If Only . . .

Hobbes Jr. embraces Annie.

Annie in Love's Embrace

All the way home Annie’s mind raced. There was no excuse for what Pooh had said. No excuse at all except—except that he loved her! And he thought Hobbes Junior’s embraces coarsened her, brutalized her! Well, if Pooh thought that, she could do very well without those embraces. And then, too, there was the practical side of it. It would mean no more offspring.
When she reached home she began to face the prospect of telling Hobbes Junior that she wanted separate bedrooms and all which that implied. It was better to have it over now while Pooh’s love was giving her strength. While she was sitting in her bedroom, wondering how she would tell Pooh that she had denied herself to Hobbes Junior, he came into the room, and sitting down next to her, embraced her.

Weirsdo Roundup: Netherworld News

DOO-DOO GIRL'S LAUNCH OF TEXTILE EXHIBIT MARRED BY JEALOUSY
Recently Doo-Doo Girl was proud to launch the ship OCTOBOMB on an intergalactic tour that will include the Vogon homeworld. Chock full of exhibits and overpriced tie-in merchandise, the ship is expected to be "a cultural emissary the likes of which have not been seen since China sent over the pandas under my American reign--er--administration," according to Netherworld President Nixon.
Exhibits will include holographic representations of NG4J and Death Cheese, as well as a batch of Doo-Doo Girl's latest quilts.
The pièce de résistance, however, is a demonstration of arachnean textile artistry, the product of a collaboration among Doo-Doo Girl (artistic director), her pharm lord consort Dr. Doo-Doo, and, of course, the spiders of the Netherworld Hotel.
Doo-Doo Girl's speech on the occasion of the launch began well, but it soon became clear that her smile masked a deep underlying hurt. Doo-Doo Girl broke down, chugged the bottle of 'shine that was supposed to christen the OCTOBOMB, and began ranting about having heard that Dr. Doo-Doo was "peddling his wares to despairing former divas." Not recognizing this apparent reference to herself and the other NG4J Netherworld remnants, Doo-Doo Girl demanded to know who these so-called "divas" were, and asked if anyone in the audience had golf clubs.
Alvin Chipmunkk, meanwhile, seized the opportunity to try to stow away in the confusion. He was reportedly crushed over the chilly response of NG4J to his recent audition.
Last but never least, Vice-President Flowering Kudzu attacked a holographic representation of Death Cheese lead "singer," Axe Man, apparently in a jealous rage over Axe's infatuation with lighting technician Nosferotten.
Fortunately FOGNL techs were on hand to film the debacle and include it in the OCTOBOMB cargo. We feel confident the exhibits will be a true cross-section of Netherworld cultural offerings.

Missed Opportunity

Just as Pooh lurched back . . .
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

“I tell you I can’t bear it, seeing your soft plush worn threadbare by him, knowing that your beauty and your charm are in the keeping of a bear who—When I think of him pawing you, I—“
“He’s going to kiss me!” thought Annie ecstatically, and swayed towards him, but he lurched back suddenly, as if realizing he had said too much.
“I apologize most humbly, Annie. I—I have been insinuating that your husband is not a Gentle Ben—and I—I haven’t any excuse at all.”

Another Black Mark on Hobbes Junior

Pooh sways involuntarily toward Annie.
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

“Oh,” Annie panted, guilt struggling with joy that Pooh should feel so deeply about her, should think her sweet. Thank Christopher, he thought Hobbes to blame for her penny-pinching ways. Of course Hobbes Junior had nothing to do with it, but another black mark on Hobbes Junior could do him no harm.

A Piece of Pooh's Mind

Pooh explains.
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

"Who has whatted me?"
“I’ve got to say it and I haven’t any right. But I’ve got to say it. Your—Hobbes Junior. He has taken you who were so sweet and soft and generous, for all your spirited ways, and he has done this to you—hardened you, brutalized you by his contact.”

Pooh's Scruples

Pooh bares his soul.
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

She did not want to say anything, but Pooh seemed to read her face, “Annie, I’m sorry. All I can say is, I can’t drive stuffed animals.”
“Pooh, you are just too soft hearted! You ought to get more work out of them. A couple of licks will cure—“
“Annie! Annie! Stop! I can’t bear to hear you talk that way,” cried Pooh, his eyes coming back to her with a fierceness that stopped her short, “Don’t you realize we're ALL stuffed animals together—Oh, my dear, I can’t bear to see the way he has brutalized you, you who were always so sweet—“

More Pooh Failure

Annie went to the honey works to check up on Pooh's progress there. It was not good. During her pregnancy he had made hardly enough to cover expenses.

One Day

Annie and Pooh in the office.


[back in "Gone with the Captists"] . . .

Plea for Captist Prayer

Scarface: A case in a case.

O Friends in Captism!
Know that Avatar Scarface was recently hospitalized in grave distress from a bout of asthma! Although he is now returned to the bosom of his Earth family in the Weirsdo mansion, his condition remains doubtful and may be chronic.
We therefore urge all Believers (even the UnLitteral ones who will later be cast into outer darkness where there is barking and gnashing of teeth) to pray for Scarface, for Cats everywhere, and for your own sins, which CHRISTOPHER, through Scarface, willingly takes upon himself.
We especially urge All to pray for the repentance of the Hairetick Dr. Weirsdo, whose bargain brand Cat Litter may be the Earthly culprit here!
Blessings in Captism (especially Litteral Captism),
High Priestess Julia