Weirsdo Roundup: Celebrations and Apologies

Diamonelle is untroubled by all this irrelevant news.
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

Belatedly, and over Pansi's objections, we join Brittney in wishing the Cheesemeister a happy birthday. We hope there were no ill effects from the cupcakes.
We apologize to the Chestbursters and Wheelz for Pansi's rudeness. We would apologize to Emrald, but we're not sure she noticed.

Weirsdo Roundup: Belated Appreciation Department

Diamonelle has been appreciated ever since her arrival on Stuffed Animal Planet.

I have talked about this student here before; she is studying to be a violist at Vanderbilt. Her grandmother sent me this today. This student also once described me as "an acquired taste." It's interesting and gratifying to know I've had an effect.

my friend Caroline is playing the four seasons for her sophomore recital and I am in the small orchestra accompanying her. We had rehearsal last night and it made me recall instantly and vividly the time we played winter in Mrs. Weirsdo's church. I did not care about music then at all, I was not listening, I was not paying attention, I didn't really know there was a soloist, everything was over my head and I did not care. But I remember playing over and over again the viola entrances, and nailed them again all these many years later; I also remember really getting into the stormy bits in the first movement, and how they evoked to me exactly the taste and texture and color of hershey's milk chocolate. Maybe the first time I had an awesome musical experience in an orchestra. Anyway it was cool.

Ask Weirsdo: Ritz Crackers IV

Diamonelle has no use for roaches, except the kind you can get from Dr. Doo-Doo, and does not believe in delayed gratification.
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

Tom & Icy wanted to know if the roaches at the Ritz were "made of gold." Of course there are NO roaches at the Ritz, T&I! I believe they may export them to the Weirsdo mansion, however. (For those readers up North, having roaches down here is not that shameful. Unless you have a professional exterminator working overtime, you're going to see roaches now and then. The most effective approach to them is the Southern euphemism. "Palmetto bugs" sounds a lot better, doesn't it?)
Regarding my "great expectations," Tom & Icy asked, "Did you help an escaped convict in a graveyard when you were a kid and he was repaying you now with the trip?" RBUD claimed credit for this feat but claimed the convict confused us and left me the money instead of him because I have "the better handle."
While I may have the better Handel, RBUD, I just married well (despite not having snagged a scientist, economist, or architect), a fact I was unaware of until AFTER falling in love with my husband. Basically, we live comfortably but modestly, with the occasional nice vacation, but we don't have college and retirement worries like most families in our income bracket.

Ask Weirsdo: Ritz Crackers III

Diamonelle likes to fly off to fantasy land herself, from time to time.

RBUD was confused about which Atlanta Ritz we stayed at. He thought it was the downtown Ritz. I think that may have had only four stars when we first started going, and besides, it's not near the shopping. Now it has five, I see, and since the other Ritz' dining room closed, its only advantage is its location. The Buckhead Ritz is on the corner of Peachtree and Lenox Road, so it is across the street from both the Lenox Mall and Phipps Plaza. Of course there are many things to do in downtown Atlanta, but when we go to the Ritz we usually just want to relax and not be overscheduled. Also, we are familiar with the Buckhead one now and have fond memories of it.
The first time we stayed there was before we were married, for Dr. Weirsdo's birthday. I gave him a big box full of nothing but a note at the bottom telling him to pack his things. Unfortunately his Corvette (the one before the new red one) was in the shop, so we took my beat up Chevy, parked it at my parents' apartment a couple blocks up on Lenox Road, and walked to the Ritz, which surprised the doormen. We had a great time, and it was just what Dr. Weirsdo wanted.

Ask Weirsdo: Ritz Crackers II

Diamonelle would have loved the Ritz' downy, but hypoallergenic, bedding.

C. J. Duffy wrote a lengthy commentary in response to the second Ritz chronicle:

I too like to soak up Western luxuries but my wife only allows me to bathe once a month.
I also enjoy fun DA mental ISTS who enjoy popping over to London to tell me how bad we are. And quite right they are too...we are bad very bad but that is cool. Isn't it?
Belly dancing is NOT my forté. I have never had much of a belly although one is now appearing. (Another fun - DA -MENTAL- ists ploy I think)
Is your Ritz like our Ritz? All glamour and teapots? Ties for gents and long sleeved frocks for the girls. Or is it the other way round?
You have whips in orchestas? Hmmm, may I join?

Thank you for sharing about the bathing, although it may be a tad TMI.
Speak for your own evil. At least we got rid of our oppressive evil dictator. Also, we don't run over there to engage in all the activities we don't approve of, like killing demonstrators or exploding ourselves and those around us. Somehow, fanaticism is just not as much fun as decadence.
Again, a possible TMI regarding your belly. Ironically, the belly dancer had almost none, though what there was was sinuous. Despite having much more, Dr. Weirsdo was not scintillating (or titillating) at it either. No one tipped him.
I believe that the first time I stayed at this Ritz, in the early 90s, there may have been a dress code for the lobby, but now people wear jeans with impunity. The dining room required a dress or fancy pants suit for women and a suit and tie for men. I don't believe there is a formal dress code for the lobby lounge, but people dress nice casual for high tea. For evenings, apparel seems to range from expensive casual to expensive designer cocktail dresses (women) and jackets (men). I don't recall a lot of ties or suits.
There is, of course, a percussion instrument called the whip, though the "crack" is actually produced by a slapstick. If you had something else in mind, I, Mistress Weirsdo, would be happy to teach you some technique for a mere $50/hour. "Whip" was a metaphor, however. Toyplayer compares my instruction to blows from a tomahawk.

Ask Weirsdo: Ritz Crackers

Diamonelle believes in speaking her mind.
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

My Ritz chronicles have inspired a number of wisecracks and other remarks from readers.
Nessa writes: "There's nothing like being frugally smug while wallowing in hedonistic luxury."

I'm not sure I'd call my attitude toward frugality "smug," Nessa. When I was a scholarship student at private schools I prided myself on my relative poverty, but it was a pride tinged with envy, to be sure. As a graduate student I just kept reminding myself that literature was what I liked best, and law, the obvious money choice, was boring and unhealthy. Also, since I was dating scientists, economists, and an architect, it seemed likely my lifestyle might improve by marriage. I did feel a bit smug when I was able to save, on a TA/occasional violinist's salary, enough to go to Europe twice, although the second time, as I spent my last penny with no employment in sight, I was a bit concerned.
As to my current frugality, I'd say it is considerably undermined by Dr. Weirsdo's spending habits; certainly it's nothing to be smug about. If I spent less than the other people at the Ritz, it's mainly because I had less to spend, putting me back to the position of the scholarship kid at the private school again. At for "wallowing," guilty as charged, but the great expectations that put me in the position to indulge in the occasional wallow are not due to my efforts, and therefore nothing to be smug about, especially in this economy, or when one considers Haiti.
If I am smug about anything, it is the good choices that have given me a loving husband and two gifted, handsome children, but even these are not entirely my own achievement.

Ritz II: Cultural Imperialism, Weirsdo Style

Despite her coronet, Diamonelle does not approve of imperialism of any kind.

On returning from one of our shopping trips, we noticed a small group of Iranians demonstrating in the cold across the street from the Ritz. Although they were holding up pictures, perhaps of the objectionable party, we never did find out which, if any, member of the fundamentalist Islamic regime was soaking up Western luxuries in our company.
Our only other contact with the exotic was a trip to the Imperial Fez, a very authentic Moroccan restaurant, where Dr. Weirsdo danced briefly with the belly dancer (not when she had the flaming sword on her head). It was a lot of fun, but way more food than one could reasonably be expected to eat (we eschewed the flavored hookahs).
We had to go to the Fez because, sadly, the Ritz' five-star dining room closed last spring. We solaced ourselves the next day, however, with a high tea, again in their Victorian lobby-lounge. Interestingly flavored premium teas are served on beautiful Asian porcelain, accompanied by a glass of good champagne, assorted canapes, and decadent desserts. The double Devonshire clotted cream on scones is an especial treat for me, and I took home some extra samples of cream for Mall Diva--now I just have to whip up some scones.
That was a lot of food again, and even after a lovely swim in the Ritz' indoor heated pool we were forced to cancel our dinner reservations. Instead we went down to the lobby-lounge around 9:30 to get a few fancy cocktails and a snack for the insatiable Dr. Weirsdo. Distinctly more lounge than lobby at that hour on the Saturday night before Valentine's Day, it was filled with wealthy people, including many stylish women sporting the fashions I had only eyed at Phipps Plaza. There was a live band, and it was fun to soak in the atmosphere with the fancy martinis.
The next day we soberly took leave of this parasitic capitalist-imperialist existence. Dr. Weirsdo has papers to grade and Dr. Minnie Strator to deal with, and I have a Latin Night to prepare for one of the orchestras I play in and students to whip into shape. Since our return, no one has parked our car, made our bed, asked us if we were sure our meals were to our liking, or generally expressed a desire to cater to our every whim. It is all up to us again.

Weirsdos Try On the Ritz

Diamonelle is not a bride, but does play one on TV sometimes.
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

Dr. Weirsdo and I had a wonderful time at the Ritz-Carlton Buckhead. As we arrived in Atlanta, it began to snow heavily, and we sat in their Victorian Lobby-Lounge and had warming snacks and drinks while watching the snow coat the trees outside. Their bar snacks include these great crunchy wasabe things I hadn't had before.
Upstairs there was also a hint of Asia in the interior design, which had been completely redone from its former Victorian stuffiness to a cleaner, contemporary look. Sadly, they had taken out the tubs in many bathrooms, including ours, and made them smaller, but the room was luxuriously comfortable, even soothing.
We went shopping a couple of times. Interestingly, while our room, the most basic and cheap offered at the Ritz, was heavily discounted if you factor in the included parking and amazing breakfasts, the top-of-the line retail at Phipps Plaza did not appear to have heard about the recession. Unfortunately, Dr. Weirsdo had borrowed a Ritz umbrella for our stroll through Phipps, so we had to disappoint a lot of salespeople. I am not the kind of person who enjoys paying through the nose for clothes that remind me how fat, ugly, and relatively poor I am, but I did enjoy them as exhibits, especially since now that the kids and I have become PROJECT RUNWAY fans I actually have a clue about fashion (it's only a theoretical clue; you can't tell from my wardrobe).
Over at the more modest Lenox Square there were some closed retail outlets and a lot more sales, but there was a lot of ugly on the sales racks. I did not find anything that would have been embraced by Mall Diva except some Godiva chocolate-covered pretzels, which of course we bought. Dr. Weirsdo did get a few things, though; he needs to look presentable for work, whereas I'm good to go as long as everything is covered and my formal black is in order.
The branch of Filene's Basement just past Phipps, on our way to Borders, was more my speed, and I actually did find a good formal black blouse for $8. Dr. Weirsdo also got a cashmere jacket that fit perfectly off-the-rack for $100. That's my idea of shopping.
At Borders we got THE ART OF WAR and a Gorgon Medusa action figure from THE LIGHTNING THIEF movie toys for Toyplayer, the BBC PERSUASION for everyone (Dr. Weirsdo teaches a course on Jane Austen on film), and a romantic historical novel, THE PIANO TEACHER, for Mall Diva.
(to be continued--Mrs. Weirsdo)

Happy Valentine's Day Weekend

In a move similar to the one Diamonelle is representing here, Dr. and Mrs. Weirsdo are stealing off to enjoy some wedded bliss. See you all too soon.

Weirsdo Roundup: Barbie Beatdowns

Diamonelle usually eschews violence.

We do not consider ourselves fight fans, but are looking forward to this one, especially if the Vice President's mother decides to throw her weight around in the ring. So far she has been strangely reluctant even to acknowledge her daughter, much less say which side she supports in the coming bout.
We hope that Pansi will not remain a ringside wallflower, but will throw her naked body in for Jesus against either Lady Gaga Barbie or the Barbie vamps. We believe Pansi could take both vamps singlehandedly, and all three with the Reverend Jimmy's assistance. After all, the Christinane god is on her side.

Weirsdo Roundup: Pansi Disses Brittney's Masterpiece

Diamonelle is wondering, could this be Pansi's swan song?

What we here at the former "Pansi Files" initially took to be Pansi's chronic whining about conditions at the Netherworld Hotel is now threatening to blossom into an incident of epic proportions. As explained to us by former Arshmolean residents, the FOPKens, Brittney invited Pansi down to the basement of the hotel to view her (Brittney's) artwork. Perhaps because her mind was deranged by the hotel's new wallpaper, its resident bedbug family, its recent giant arachnid guest, or Brittney's friend Smashy Spider, Pansi saw only cracked plaster and a dirty ceiling with spiders hanging from it, instead of Brittney's beautifully surreal winter landscape depicting (doubled as if in a mirror) the witch Enditall walking at the edge of the woods on a snowy day toward some interactive shrunken heads (graciously performed by the spiders) that she has hung up for passersby to experience. We can only hope that Brittney will take into consideration Pansi's well-established ignorance before dropping her whoop-ass bomb on the purple-buttocked diva.

Weirsdo Roundup: Mall Diva College Bound

Unlike Pansi, Diamonelle is always ready to applaud the accomplishments of her fellow divas.

Mall Diva had her audition for NSU today. It went well, except for the surprise theory test afterwards. Since one of the three judges was her current teacher, who was pleased, and another told her her Tchaikovsky Concerto was "fabulous," we are pretty sure she's in, even if she did get melodic and harmonic minors mixed up. We congratulate her and breathe a sigh of relief at having gotten a kid with gifts and talents out into a world where she can further develop and share them.

Doll Baby Gets a Name

After that, to Annie’s horror, the child was always called Penny.

Anastasia Continues Oblivious

Anastasia said, "Why your doll baby's hair is the color of a new Stuffed Animal Planet penny!"

Anastasia Speaks

Anastasia mentioned to Hobbes Junior what beautiful hair his child had.

And Annie Was Talking to Pooh,

From left (for Nessa): Annie, Pooh, Doll Baby, little O, Hobbes Jr., and Anastasia.

Playing Games

when the children were playing together,

One Evening,

Annie tries to make Pooh feel quite at home.