Weirsdo Roundup: Hobbes Jr. Explains Again

Once again, an item in ASININE NEWS seems designed to cause Hobbes Jr. embarrassment. It appears that Annie is not the only one pursued by a roseate ape. Hobbes Jr. says he has no memory of the incident depicted, and that if it occurred it was well before his marriage. The bear in the photo does seem to be an extremely youthful version of Annie's current husband, if indeed he is not a doppelganger.

Encore

This is the sonata Hard Solo learned in 6 days, but played by a different violinist (Andrey Rozendent) here.

Achievements of Note

Here is Hard Solo playing Ysaye's "Ballade No. 3." Hard Solo just returned from soloing with the Moscow Philharmonic. He was invited as an honor from the Russian Government for his two international prizes. Currently he is preparing for the Queen Elizabeth Competition in Brussels. They send repertoire lists mere weeks before the competition, so Hard Solo learned Ysaye's Sonata No. 6 in 6 days. Mall Diva's violin teacher claims it would take a normal violinist 2 and a half years, although Mrs. Weirsdo, having heard Hard Solo play it now, believes a million would not be long enough for her.
We wish Hard Solo well at the competition.

We also want to congratulate Mall Diva, who was accepted into Tanglewood for this summer.

She Who Laughs Last

Annie had plenty of time to climb out of her car and up to the phone to have security throw him out.
Red Baboon's helpless outrage as they towed him away was priceless, especially since Annie believed she had seen him in the crowd sniggering after her disastrous test drive.

Trapped

Even better than the blank look on Red Baboon's face was the fact that he had twisted himself around to stare in such a way that he was wedged half in and half out of his car, and could not drive away immediately.

Disorientation

Red Baboon, gazing at Annie's Corvette.

and into her driveway before he realized what he had done.

Car Envy

Red Baboon was so mesmerized by Annie's magnificence that he followed her all the way home . . .

It Was an Itsy Bitsy . . .

Red Baboon, entranced by Annie's splendor.

in, or rather ON, his VERY tiny Ferrari.

Chance Encounter

Annie fondly remembered her chance encounter with Red Baboon,

Dr. Weirsdo, Poster Child

and Annie had no desire to become a poster child for "tetesteron" like Dr. Weirsdo.

Ask Annie: Driving Large

although it was somewhat large,*

*Filthy Fred had questions about this in his comment on yesterday's post: "Only one thing concerns me--can her feet reach the pedals? I foresee a lot of roadkill!
If I can't get a Fummetti, I might get an Iggereon, which is the word verification. That's a really awesome car too!"
Annie replies: Well, Fred, of course it's modified so I can use it. Also, our population is less dense (in many ways) than Earth's or the Netherworld's, and sadly many unfortunate souls don't have cars and have to rely completely on dinosaurs. Indeed I was under the impression that an Iggereon was an extinct breed of dinosaur! And nobody's car is bigger than mine! So most people just get out of the way.

Driving Experience

Annie at the wheel.
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

Annie loved driving her car,

Down to the Last Detail

The driveway was way bigger than Pansi's.
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

Hobbes Jr. even built Annie's driveway to look exactly like Dr. Weirsdo's, only the old phone that Mall Diva and Toyplayer had taken out to play with was actually hooked up, in Annie's case, and could be used to call out or to the house.

Unwanted Attention

Dr. Weirsdo and his babe magnet.
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

(Dr. Weirsdo's Corvette was famous, not only on Stuffed Animal Planet, but also in the Netherworld. Unwanted attention from female Ersatz University students had already caused Mrs. Weirsdo no little annoyance.)

Celebrity Connection

Annie's replica.
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

of the one recently bought by Mall Diva's elusive father, Dr. Weirsdo.


Dr. Weirsdo, captured in a rare photo, admiring "Big Bertha." Weather permitting, he and Mrs. Weirsdo will celebrate St. Patrick's Day with a ride.

Replica

Style AND a celebrity connection!
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

The car was an exact replica . . .

Other Marital Perks

Annie's new Corvette.
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

In addition to the house, Hobbes Junior got Annie beautiful new riding dinosaurs and a big, shiny new car.

Steak Through the Heart Newsletter

By Hamster Brittney

APOLOGY
Steak Through the Heart apologizes for the zing implying that our chef, Rotten Ralph, is "owned." We are fully aware that Rotten Ralph is his own man, or ogre, and we regret that in our zeal to reassure customers that our chef is indeed a cherished fixture here at Steak Through the Heart, we may have impugned his independence. Fortunately, Rotten Ralph's good nature and kindly heart have enabled him to accept our heartfelt apology, so there is no rupture in the Steak Through the Heart Family. We hope patrons will continue to enjoy Ralph's cuisine for years to come.

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STEAK THROUGH THE HEART WELCOMES NEW FRY COOK, DENIES LIABILITY
Steak Through the Heart is proud to welcome the Kentucky Fryin' Chicken as our new fry cook. Believe us, you haven't tasted fingers until you've tried his finger-lickin' good Kentucky recipe.*

*{[(steak through the heart uses only one hundred percent human fingers. eat at your own risk. we cannot be liable for confusions such as the one in which aubvey misguidedly gobbled them up, thinking they were chicken fingers. our policy is and has always been to thumb our noses at legal threats and refuse to knuckle under.)]}

Weirsdo Roundup: Luck o' the Barbies

Don't miss the NG4J show in Lost Wages, March 17!
To help you get lucky, here are some tips, reprinted from Hobbes' comment at the original announcement:

To get lucky with Pansi, dress as Jesus.
With Aubvey, bring 'shine.
With Emrald, dress as a Meekmok.
With Doo-Doo Girl, distract her.
With Doo-Doo Man, ply him with his own products and knock him over.
With Brittney, dress as Satan, and run fast afterward.

We also wish the Barbies luck with their Easter Pageant, though we're not sure how it will turn out, since the Doo-Doos seem to be too busy to participate.

Weirsdo Correction

After I posted this and said it was what Mall Diva played on the piano recital, she informed me it was really this:

I got mixed up because Mall Diva has practiced the whole sonata, but she performed the first movement, not the third. Her tempo was faster than this pianist's (Joseph Bachana). His interpretation to me seems deadly slow at times, but it was the only halfway decent one I could find On the third movement, Mall Diva plays more slowly than Gould in the earlier post.

Ask Hobbes Junior: Fire in the Hole?

After this post, Terry wrote, "Anyway to heat up the damp cave with a nice bonfire?" and Willy Wanker said, "I'd love to know more about both PANSI and Annie's caverns!"

Terry: Theoretically one could light a fire in there, and to my mind it would improve the place, especially if it was ignited with an incendiary device and spread to the house. But for some reason Annie is against it. For one thing, she says the smoke would damage the troll cherubs she's had carved in there (she has twice as many as Pansi).

Willy: Many of us are curious about Pansi's Troll Grotto, especially since it is rumored that Angelon, who has appropriated her mansion, is using it as an oubliette.

Ask Weirsdo: What's a Pier Glass?

After this post on Annie's interior design, RBUD asked what a pier glass was. I knew it was a large mirror and remembered that Mark Twain had one in his house in Hartford so his daughters could practice dancing, but I Googled and Wikied to see if there was anything special about a pier glass to distinguish it from any old large mirror. Turns out a pier glass is set between windows of about the same large size and shape as the mirror, thereby giving a room a spacious feel.

Nightmare on Easy Street

Annie's dream boudoir.
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

All in all it was a house to take one’s breath away, and Annie felt sure it would do exactly what she wanted and have all her acquaintances tearing their fur out with envy. She thought it the most beautiful and most elegantly furnished house she had ever seen, but Hobbes Junior referred to her lovely den as a nightmare and architectural horror.

Space for Reflection

Note mirror.
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

Everywhere on the wall were ornamentally framed mirrors and long pier glasses—as many, Hobbes Junior said idly as there were in Belle Catley’s establishment. Interspersed were pictures of Annie herself, dressed in her lovely new gowns.

Interior Design

Inside the house had been furnished exactly as Annie had designed, with thick white carpet, quilting wherever there was an inch for quilting (but never in the Doo-Doo style), and the most fashionable new furniture, upholstered in such slick dinosaur leather that ladies had to deposit themselves thereon with great care for fear of sliding off.

Landscaping

Our photographer was not allowed access to the grounds.
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

Outside in the wide, wooded yard rustic stones and old logs for sitting on were scattered about, and there was a damp cave, fashionably called a "Troll Grotto," which, Annie had been assured, was bigger and fancier than the one in Pansi's yard.

Keeping Up with Pansi

Annie's dream house.
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

It was going to be the biggest house in Petesville, even larger than Pansi’s old mansion! It had more towers, turrets, cupolas, balconies and stained glass windows than any other house in Petesville. It put Pansi's mansion to shame.

Ostentation

Hobbes Junior was building Annie a new den. A great big one, designed exactly as Annie wanted it to be.

Weirsdo Procrastination

Unfortunately, Mall Diva has not had time to record more annals of Annie's marriage to Hobbes Jr., owing to having been in a local competition this weekend and performing on the consequent Honors Recital. She did a good job with the first movement of Beethoven's Sonata in E Major, Op. 14, No. 1:
, and then we went off to play the Messiah in Montgomery.
The weather has also been a factor. Today Mall Diva had to allow time to play in the snow with Toyplayer. Yesterday, Mall Diva and I went southwest to our Messiah rehearsal as a tornado approached Auburn from the northeast. While it struck north of town, and we live in the south, there was significant flooding, and I am sorry to report that the passenger side of Dr. Weirsdo's new, secondhand Corvette convertible was swamped with muddy water. Fortunately, although the service department of the dealership was closed, the sales department regard Dr. Weirsdo as a valued customer, and they got "the guy in the back" to clean it up good as (almost) new.
So all in all it's been an eventful weekend, and we look forward to returning to the relative calm of Stuffed Animal Planet.