Ask Hobbes: Stuffed Animal Genetics

Diamonelle has a top-of-the-line gene pool, as well as a top-of-the-line swimming pool.

Dr. Schitz, of the Netherworld, writes,

As a top line genetic specialist, I find myself a bit concerned about the fact that the product of a union between two bears seems strangely human, given the fact that they never came to me for DNA manipulation.

From time to time, Dr. Schitz, we have noted various irregularities in the life cycle of stuffed animals. First, you may recall that, unless utterly destroyed, for instance by falling into an active volcano or being chopped up and strewn about the Pansitown Road for dinosaurs to eat, stuffed bears can come back to life. Second, you may recall that Anastasia and Pooh's child, little O, is a stuffed owl. There is, in fact, nothing unusual about stuffed animals producing a child who is another species of animal, or a doll. Although some Captist families pride themselves on the "purity" of their stuffing, and although Annie claimed to Pooh that she could give him a real bear cub, the truth is that all have intermingled so much there is just no telling what will come out.
What is intriguing about my grandchild is her growth! Normally, dolls just stay the same, but you will notice that this little one changed dramatically from her newborn self to her four-year-old self! Stuffed Animal Planet scientists desperately want to study this phenomenon, but Hobbes Jr. is very protective of his daughter and so far has not allowed it. We'll keep you posted, should we make any further discoveries.