The Enemy Within

Footage of Mrs. Weirsdo's defeat taken by Dusty Doggy.

This material is from the June, 2005 archives.

Faltering under our constant, though unsuccessful, attacks and its own inadequacies, Pete's regime targeted the enemy within. NG4J was a fixture on all Stuffed Animal Planet channels. Indeterminacy, who had made threatening remarks about Barbie dismemberment, was harshly censured and accused of kidnapping Betty Boop, who later turned out to be merely the Argentinian woman to Indie's Governor Sanford, as it were. Mrs. Weirsdo, who was designated the "Queen of Hearts" on the regime's list of the top 52 enemies of the state, was captured by STUPID* in Finland and ineptly tortured in the Petesville jail. Fortunately, Sissy had slipped Mr. Banana a file, so when our gang created a diversion by attacking the jail, Mr. Banana and Mrs. Weirsdo escaped.
In response to oppression, the Captist religion, which worships a black cat named Christopher, became very popular. Around this time, I myself met and married a devout Captist named JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJjjjjjjjjjjjjj--
I'm sorry. I can't go on . . . must rest now

Mrs. Weirsdo here. I'm sorry to say that Hobbes' marriage to Julia proved so traumatic that to this day any reminder of her can bring on seizures. I will do my best to finish the post.
Hobbes married Julia. She took care of Annie and Anastasia, who had been neglected by their dynamic mother, Kathryn, and the two girls, with their friend, Julia's granddaughter Lavender,** became model Captist young ladies. Julia and Hobbes also adopted another child, Checkers.
One day Annie, Anastasia, and Lavender visited President Pete, prattled about the healing power of Captism, and left him comforting religious tracts. He had a change of heart, converted to Captism, and stepped down as dictator.
Soon after, Pete and Pansi were divorced. She was too busy being a megastar to notice much.

*Storm Troopers Undercover Pretty-good Intelligence Detail
**From a youthful indiscretion never publicized.