Weirsdo Roundup: Operation WUndeR Report
It is with mixed emotions that Dr. Minnie Strator files her latest report on Operation Weirsdo Under the Rug (WUndeR). On the one hand, it is distressing, particularly on the heels of her relatives' setbacks with Hard Solo and family at INS, to be thwarted. On the other hand, in all MEANINGFUL respects, Dr. Strator feels Operation WUndeR is going swimmingly.
Memo to the President of Curriculum Dilution and the GOB (Good Ole Boy) Network
Veryred State University
Subject: Operation WUndeR update
Dear Sir and GOBs:
I am pleased to report that Operation WUndeR has had overall positive results again this year. Despite "Dr." Weirsdo's previous book, the one just published, and two that he CLAIMS have been accepted for publication, my esteemed colleagues, the Full Professors of the English Department, awarded the available endowed chair to a distinguished scholar, who, with only one book, has used his extra time wisely to become a far more functional member of the Veryred family than Weirsdo can ever hope to be.
I am further pleased to report that the distinguished members of the committee for awarding summer research grants in the College of "Liberal" Arts (again, I wish to express my objection to that adjective, which certainly does NOT apply to this university!) passed over Dr. Weirsdo, his supposed four books, and his many articles, and awarded this year's grant to a TRULY productive friend of mine, who besides the talent he has exhibited in my special subject (posterior osculation), also has four scholarly publications, including one book, and can write far sexier proposals than Dr. Weirsdo, whose scope of knowledge exceeds the understanding of our average distinguished professors and is therefore an irritant.
Although these successes must indeed be sources of pride for those of us who work so hard to guide this effort to a successful conclusion (retirement in obscurity with a small pension subject to alteration at the whim of the GOBs), I would be remiss if I did not note some setbacks to our efforts.
Most notably, the Honors students of Veryred voted Dr. Weirsdo Honors Professor of the Year. While naturally distressing, this is fortunately an award carrying no financial remuneration, and, I hasten to add, more an indication of Weirsdo's DISability to teach the majority of our students than anything else. I would also point out that I have stated my opposition to the unfair, inegalitarian nature of "Honors" education on numerous occasions, and that until recently, I and others who feel as I do have kept the impact of the "Honors" presence on this campus to a minimum.
It is also disturbing to note that academic publishers seem more and more apt to be imposed on by Weirdo's efforts.
I must point out, however, that the national marginalization of academic "learning" renders it unlikely that this trend will have a significant impact on our efforts, and I recommend a continuation of our policy of ignoring Weirsdo's supposed achievements in the coming years.
Yours in Fellowship,
Dr. Minnie Strator
Ass. VP, Curriculum Dilution
Chair, Operation WUndeR
Memo to the President of Curriculum Dilution and the GOB (Good Ole Boy) Network
Veryred State University
Subject: Operation WUndeR update
Dear Sir and GOBs:
I am pleased to report that Operation WUndeR has had overall positive results again this year. Despite "Dr." Weirsdo's previous book, the one just published, and two that he CLAIMS have been accepted for publication, my esteemed colleagues, the Full Professors of the English Department, awarded the available endowed chair to a distinguished scholar, who, with only one book, has used his extra time wisely to become a far more functional member of the Veryred family than Weirsdo can ever hope to be.
I am further pleased to report that the distinguished members of the committee for awarding summer research grants in the College of "Liberal" Arts (again, I wish to express my objection to that adjective, which certainly does NOT apply to this university!) passed over Dr. Weirsdo, his supposed four books, and his many articles, and awarded this year's grant to a TRULY productive friend of mine, who besides the talent he has exhibited in my special subject (posterior osculation), also has four scholarly publications, including one book, and can write far sexier proposals than Dr. Weirsdo, whose scope of knowledge exceeds the understanding of our average distinguished professors and is therefore an irritant.
Although these successes must indeed be sources of pride for those of us who work so hard to guide this effort to a successful conclusion (retirement in obscurity with a small pension subject to alteration at the whim of the GOBs), I would be remiss if I did not note some setbacks to our efforts.
Most notably, the Honors students of Veryred voted Dr. Weirsdo Honors Professor of the Year. While naturally distressing, this is fortunately an award carrying no financial remuneration, and, I hasten to add, more an indication of Weirsdo's DISability to teach the majority of our students than anything else. I would also point out that I have stated my opposition to the unfair, inegalitarian nature of "Honors" education on numerous occasions, and that until recently, I and others who feel as I do have kept the impact of the "Honors" presence on this campus to a minimum.
It is also disturbing to note that academic publishers seem more and more apt to be imposed on by Weirdo's efforts.
I must point out, however, that the national marginalization of academic "learning" renders it unlikely that this trend will have a significant impact on our efforts, and I recommend a continuation of our policy of ignoring Weirsdo's supposed achievements in the coming years.
Yours in Fellowship,
Dr. Minnie Strator
Ass. VP, Curriculum Dilution
Chair, Operation WUndeR
Labels: Annie, Auburn, Beast, dinosaurs, Dr. Minnie Strator, Dr. Weirsdo, education, Hard Solo, Mrs. Weirsdo, UnCaptists
posted by Hobbes at 8:07 PM
7 Comments:
Poor Dr. Strator, having to endure such trials.
Ah well, into every life a little rain must fall. Being from Washington state I think rain is good for people, try to keep it falling on the good Dr.
We do our best, Logo.
Hats off to Dr. Weirsdo - for the vote of confidence by his students and the fortitude to deal with Dr. Strator.
I believe that should have been "having the fortitude...", but you can let me know.
Thanks, G.
Yes, I think "having" is clearer.
Always remember if administrators and government officials can bollocks something up, they will!
You must have reading difficulties, Mr. Crusty. I just finished explaining that problems with Operation WUndeR were NOT my fault, and that on the whole it is going smoothly!
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