Weirsdo Roundup: Things We Keep Forgetting

CORRECTION
Although the website for the Pablo Sarasate International Competition originally reported that Hard Solo won third prize, he actually won second, which is 7,000 Euros. He also won the audience prize, which means he was their favorite. So extra congratulations to him.

STUFFED ANIMAL PLANET OFFICIALS NOT TAKING ACTION AGAINST CHINA
Stuffed Animal Planet officials said this week that they do not believe any action is warranted against China for the lead paint that contaminated Pooh, among others. "The paint comes from the now-defunct Blochalela Foundation, of which we wash our hands," stated Supreme Dictator Angelon blandly, adding, "Everyone knows Pooh is a klutz." Pooh and others apparently bought the paint from the notorious Captist scalliwag Red Baboon, who pilfered it from the Blochalela Foundation shortly after the Fall of Petesville.
Former Blochalela Foundation scientist "Dr." Doo-Doo said he did not remember the paint in question, but that anyone who wanted could bring it to his Hobbesywood mansion (the decaying ruin he shares with soulmate Doo-Doo Girl). "Who knows, we could sniff it, or put it in our original meth recipe . . ." the good doctor said vaguely. Those taking the Doo-Doos up on their recall offer are urged to approach the mansion carefully and wear protective gear.